My thoughts on Elder Whirthlin's talk "Come What May, and Love It"
I think I need to give a follow up to my so depressing post earlier this week.
As I have been contemplating what I said about hope. I want to be very clear that my lack of hope is a temporary feeling as I deal with the day to day issues/stresses that I face as I raise teens, have a husband be told no as he interviews, watch our retirement drop over 30%, have clients say “no thanks,” struggle with my own health and generally see negativity all around. I want you to know that I have the eternal hope that President Uchtdorf talks about. I feel very hopeful in eternity, in the atonement and resurrection. Of that I have no doubt about hoping for.
The way the talks were given, Elder Wirthlin’s talk comes after President Uchtdorf’s in our study, but they were given in two different sessions, but reading one right after the other gave me hope (pun intended). Last week I felt that my trials, tribulations and day to day responsibilities left me with little hope, but in reading over Elder Wirthlin’s talk “Come What May, and Love it” I feel that I was mistaken in my lack of hope.
I love raising teens. They keep me hopping and always inventing new ways of parenting. They keep my life fresh.
I love that my husband is looking for a new job and I am confident that he will find one. He has found that he is valuable and has some darn good skills that some employer will be lucky to have.
I know that we may be working for our retirement a little longer than we wanted or planned to, but we will do it together. It also makes me work my home business all the much more.
I know that my clients are saying no to me because they too are feeling the financial pinch and one day they will come flocking to me as my product is what they all believe in too. Family means everything to me and that is what my business is about—bring family together again. Mending fences and putting love back into the home.
I know that my struggles with my health are going to be shortly over. In fact I’m about to end my physical therapy for my back and it has been a very long six years!
I will do as Elder Wirthlin says. I will learn to laugh more. I will learn to shake off the lack of control I feel over my life and my family’s life. I will learn to laugh when the Priests change their plans yet again and screw up my beautifully planned car pool. I will laugh and make the best of it when they switch the Cub Scout’s meeting time yet again and just enjoy working with my son in our own little den because we can’t do it when they have it scheduled. I will learn to at least smile through these situations and hopefully laugh at them too.
I will seek for the Eternal. I will understand that it is NOT what happens to me, but how I REACT. I will understand that we each have trials to go through and it how we react to them that will separate the wheat from the tares. I will no longer be someone who allows others to push her buttons. I will be the one who laughs, is proactive and doesn’t allow negativity to ruin a good day—because they are all good. Because I have HOPE!
I have buckets of joy waiting for me. As I read this statement: “The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.” I imagined that party to be like the kind they have at the end of important sports game. Cannons of confetti and balloons drop from the rafters. Bands will play and people will be hugging, screaming and crying tears of joy. I know I have buckets of them waiting for me and I’m sure my mom is filling them with shredded paper as I type.
I have to trust in the Father and His Son! I have to trust that He loves me enough that He will be on my side cheering me along, giving me the tools I need to finish this mission—hard as it may be—to raise teens in this trying time. He gave me these kids because He knew I could do it. I just have to be like Nephi, “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” And I’m not done doing what He commanded.
As a choir today we sang hymn 124, “Be Still My Soul” and I’m breaking every copyright by posting it, but it spoke volumes to me today. My soul needs to be told to “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Ps 46:10)
1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Infinite Power of Hope
My thoughts on President Uchtdorf’s talk “The Infinite Power of Hope”
WARNING: This will probably be very depressing post since things have “got me down” at the moment. Life isn’t looking fun, pretty or comfortable and I truly needed this talk, but I have a bunch of “issues” with it.
Ok, I would have died has I been his mother at that train station. My worst fear of all is to loose a child. I had an experience where I thought I had lost my daughter and I almost threw up it was so hard to deal with. We had come home from soccer, and because some of the neighborhood kids were on my son’s team I was the carpool driver. That also meant that I had all three benched in my van in. I know I counted noses before we left the soccer fields, but when we got home and after about 15 minutes of getting dinner on the table I couldn’t find Jessica anywhere. Steve had just pulled up and I was about ready to send him to the fields to go get her. She was maybe three years old at the time. I literally was in a panic. She wasn’t anywhere in the house or yard. I grabbed the kids and we hit our knees. I’m not sure who thought of it, but someone said, “Did you check the car?” I of course said, “YES” Duh! I’m not a dumb mom. But then Kray said, “But she wasn’t sitting in her car seat, but in Chris’” Chris’ car seat was in the very back, not the front bench. She had fallen asleep and slumped over so that her head couldn’t be seen above the seats and of course her feet were too short to be seen when you looked under the benches. She was strapped into her car seat asleep, slumped over so that she was “gone” from view. I’m sure she had no idea why a crying, hysterical mother unbuckled her and just held her for the night.
Pres. Uchtdorf wonders how she managed to go on in the face of her fears. You do because you HAVE to find your child. There is no other option. There was no option for me. I HAD to find Jessica, NOTHING else mattered. I don’t recall what emotion I had, but I know that it the most horrifying few moments of my mother career. (And I’m sure my teens will give me a few more.)
What is the “infinite power of hope”?
How do we get or find it?
“Hope is a gift of the Spirit. … This kind of hope is both a principle of promise as well as a commandment, and as with all commandments, we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope.”
Well, I guess I’m a sinner today. I feel as if I have lost a lot of the hope I had. I know things are supposed to work out, but this part of the journey is a very rough one and I’m not sure I can hold on much longer. I cling to the promise of the principle of hope, but to have it, as the commandment says, is hard. I have hope in the atonement and the resurrection—that part is clear, but the part of having hope for the daily things in life is where I struggle.
“The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness.”
Boy do I feel that today.
“Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be.”
You know I would love to have some joyful days right about now.
“Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward.”
I know this all too well. It seems like I’m on a long staircase down and I don’t know where the up side is.
“Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving card of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear.”
I totally get this, and on an eternal plane it is great. I believe it, I hope it, I trust it, I know it. But what about today? What about the situation I find our family in today. Where is the hope when for many long months the situation hasn’t changed? How much longer can our family sustain this level of hope until it is gone? “Endure to the end,” it says, but the end had better come because I’m nearing the end of my rope. In fact I’ve added other sections to my rope…
“I wish to speak today of the hope that transcends the trivial and centers on the Hope of Israel, the great hope of mankind, even our Redeemer, Jesus Christ.”
This isn’t the type of hope I’m struggling with at all. Watching my sister, my grand niece and then my mother die, there is not wiggle room in my life for this type of hope. I know, I mean I KNOW, without any shadow of doubt that the atonement has worked in their lives and that they are their already, waiting for us to join them. My only hope is that I live worthy enough to join them. I’m sure that is their hope too.
“Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is confidence that it we live according to God’s law and the words of His prophets now, we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance.”
This is what I’m having trouble with. It is so hard to wake every morning to the same troubles and move forward. He has promised total healing and yet, six year later…. He has promised a new job, and yet, months later we are still waiting and the offers are not coming…. He has promised that family life will smooth over and yet I’m still looking up boarding school on the east coast… I want hope and peace in my home today. I’m tired of uncertainty, physical pain, anger and frustration in my home. My prayer each morning is, “Let me get through the day without killing someone.” And most of the time I truly mean it.
I don’t struggle with the eternal hope, but the temporal hope of blessings we have asked for and need so desperately TODAY. I’m not sure my “hope jar” has anything left in it. I wake every morning, take a big swig and pray it will be enough until my eyes close at night. Many, many nights the eyes never close because the heart and mind are so full of the daily struggles our family faces at this time. I’m tired of living in despair, frustration. I know how it feels to have my heart bound my “heart and mind in suffocating darkness.” It has drained most of the joy in my life and left me with “empty remnants of what life was meant to be.” It has killed “ambition.” And I truly feel like I’m on a downward spiral.
I have to cling to this promise, “No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Chris, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations.”
“The things we hope in sustain us during our daily walk. They uphold us through our trials, temptations and sorrow. Everyone has experienced discouragement and difficulty. Indeed, there are times when the darkness may seem unbearable. It is in these times that the divine principles of the restored gospel we hope in can uphold us and carry us until, once again, we walk in the light.”
These are the two promises I have to hold to every morning or I would walk away from all this. Many times I say, “This isn’t worth it. My heart is too broken. My spirit to wounded to make it through this day.” But I say a prayer asking for strength to make it through one more day, in the hope that tomorrow those promised blessings will come. I’m just not sure how many more days I can hit my knees and utter that prayer.
“This type of hope in God, his goodness, and his power refreshes us with courage during difficult challenges and gives strength to those who feel threatened by enclosing walls of fear, doubt and despair.”
This sums up my life right now: “There may be times when we must make a courageous decision to hope even when everything around us contradicts this hope.”
“When frustration and impatience challenge charity, hope braces our resolve and urges us to care for our fellowmen even without expectation of reward.”
Must have hope then because through all of this I have charity for those around me. I haven’t stopped serving my fellowman and I don’t do it for a reward but because it is just what I do. But I do feel frustrated.
I hold the same hope his mother had, “sustain[ed] our family and me and [give] confidence that present circumstances [will] give way to future blessing.”
This is the hope that I have to live with every day. I have to have hope that eventually these trials will end and the blessings for going through them and making it to the end will come. I just wish (dare I say hope?) the end will come soon. I too, take to heart Pres. Uchtdorf’s words.
“And to all who suffer—to all who feel discouraged, worried, or lonely—I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in. Never surrender. Never allow despair to overcome your spirit. Embrace and rely upon the Hope of Israel, for the love of the Son of God pierces all darkness, softens all sorrow and gladdens every heart.”
WARNING: This will probably be very depressing post since things have “got me down” at the moment. Life isn’t looking fun, pretty or comfortable and I truly needed this talk, but I have a bunch of “issues” with it.
Ok, I would have died has I been his mother at that train station. My worst fear of all is to loose a child. I had an experience where I thought I had lost my daughter and I almost threw up it was so hard to deal with. We had come home from soccer, and because some of the neighborhood kids were on my son’s team I was the carpool driver. That also meant that I had all three benched in my van in. I know I counted noses before we left the soccer fields, but when we got home and after about 15 minutes of getting dinner on the table I couldn’t find Jessica anywhere. Steve had just pulled up and I was about ready to send him to the fields to go get her. She was maybe three years old at the time. I literally was in a panic. She wasn’t anywhere in the house or yard. I grabbed the kids and we hit our knees. I’m not sure who thought of it, but someone said, “Did you check the car?” I of course said, “YES” Duh! I’m not a dumb mom. But then Kray said, “But she wasn’t sitting in her car seat, but in Chris’” Chris’ car seat was in the very back, not the front bench. She had fallen asleep and slumped over so that her head couldn’t be seen above the seats and of course her feet were too short to be seen when you looked under the benches. She was strapped into her car seat asleep, slumped over so that she was “gone” from view. I’m sure she had no idea why a crying, hysterical mother unbuckled her and just held her for the night.
Pres. Uchtdorf wonders how she managed to go on in the face of her fears. You do because you HAVE to find your child. There is no other option. There was no option for me. I HAD to find Jessica, NOTHING else mattered. I don’t recall what emotion I had, but I know that it the most horrifying few moments of my mother career. (And I’m sure my teens will give me a few more.)
What is the “infinite power of hope”?
How do we get or find it?
“Hope is a gift of the Spirit. … This kind of hope is both a principle of promise as well as a commandment, and as with all commandments, we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope.”
Well, I guess I’m a sinner today. I feel as if I have lost a lot of the hope I had. I know things are supposed to work out, but this part of the journey is a very rough one and I’m not sure I can hold on much longer. I cling to the promise of the principle of hope, but to have it, as the commandment says, is hard. I have hope in the atonement and the resurrection—that part is clear, but the part of having hope for the daily things in life is where I struggle.
“The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness.”
Boy do I feel that today.
“Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be.”
You know I would love to have some joyful days right about now.
“Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward.”
I know this all too well. It seems like I’m on a long staircase down and I don’t know where the up side is.
“Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving card of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear.”
I totally get this, and on an eternal plane it is great. I believe it, I hope it, I trust it, I know it. But what about today? What about the situation I find our family in today. Where is the hope when for many long months the situation hasn’t changed? How much longer can our family sustain this level of hope until it is gone? “Endure to the end,” it says, but the end had better come because I’m nearing the end of my rope. In fact I’ve added other sections to my rope…
“I wish to speak today of the hope that transcends the trivial and centers on the Hope of Israel, the great hope of mankind, even our Redeemer, Jesus Christ.”
This isn’t the type of hope I’m struggling with at all. Watching my sister, my grand niece and then my mother die, there is not wiggle room in my life for this type of hope. I know, I mean I KNOW, without any shadow of doubt that the atonement has worked in their lives and that they are their already, waiting for us to join them. My only hope is that I live worthy enough to join them. I’m sure that is their hope too.
“Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is confidence that it we live according to God’s law and the words of His prophets now, we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance.”
This is what I’m having trouble with. It is so hard to wake every morning to the same troubles and move forward. He has promised total healing and yet, six year later…. He has promised a new job, and yet, months later we are still waiting and the offers are not coming…. He has promised that family life will smooth over and yet I’m still looking up boarding school on the east coast… I want hope and peace in my home today. I’m tired of uncertainty, physical pain, anger and frustration in my home. My prayer each morning is, “Let me get through the day without killing someone.” And most of the time I truly mean it.
I don’t struggle with the eternal hope, but the temporal hope of blessings we have asked for and need so desperately TODAY. I’m not sure my “hope jar” has anything left in it. I wake every morning, take a big swig and pray it will be enough until my eyes close at night. Many, many nights the eyes never close because the heart and mind are so full of the daily struggles our family faces at this time. I’m tired of living in despair, frustration. I know how it feels to have my heart bound my “heart and mind in suffocating darkness.” It has drained most of the joy in my life and left me with “empty remnants of what life was meant to be.” It has killed “ambition.” And I truly feel like I’m on a downward spiral.
I have to cling to this promise, “No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Chris, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations.”
“The things we hope in sustain us during our daily walk. They uphold us through our trials, temptations and sorrow. Everyone has experienced discouragement and difficulty. Indeed, there are times when the darkness may seem unbearable. It is in these times that the divine principles of the restored gospel we hope in can uphold us and carry us until, once again, we walk in the light.”
These are the two promises I have to hold to every morning or I would walk away from all this. Many times I say, “This isn’t worth it. My heart is too broken. My spirit to wounded to make it through this day.” But I say a prayer asking for strength to make it through one more day, in the hope that tomorrow those promised blessings will come. I’m just not sure how many more days I can hit my knees and utter that prayer.
“This type of hope in God, his goodness, and his power refreshes us with courage during difficult challenges and gives strength to those who feel threatened by enclosing walls of fear, doubt and despair.”
This sums up my life right now: “There may be times when we must make a courageous decision to hope even when everything around us contradicts this hope.”
“When frustration and impatience challenge charity, hope braces our resolve and urges us to care for our fellowmen even without expectation of reward.”
Must have hope then because through all of this I have charity for those around me. I haven’t stopped serving my fellowman and I don’t do it for a reward but because it is just what I do. But I do feel frustrated.
I hold the same hope his mother had, “sustain[ed] our family and me and [give] confidence that present circumstances [will] give way to future blessing.”
This is the hope that I have to live with every day. I have to have hope that eventually these trials will end and the blessings for going through them and making it to the end will come. I just wish (dare I say hope?) the end will come soon. I too, take to heart Pres. Uchtdorf’s words.
“And to all who suffer—to all who feel discouraged, worried, or lonely—I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in. Never surrender. Never allow despair to overcome your spirit. Embrace and rely upon the Hope of Israel, for the love of the Son of God pierces all darkness, softens all sorrow and gladdens every heart.”
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sacrament Meeting and the Sacrament
My thoughts on Elder Oaks’ talk “Sacrament Meeting and the Sacrament”
Elder Oaks speaks with such economy of words. I hear his training as a lawyer come through the words as much as I hear the words of a prophet as well. What a great reminder of the reason for Sunday.
As I wrote a friend last night, “I hate Sundays. They are not a day of rest for me.” I think I often forget the reason for the Sabbath day and get caught up in all the other things that happen on Sunday. My focus needs to be put back on the sacrament. As our family is reading the New Testament along with the seminary kids we are daily reading the teachings of Jesus while he was on the earth and just this morning we read about the “Last Supper”—or as my kids like to call it “The First Sacrament”. I should have a better attitude toward the Sabbath and the sacrament than I do. Elder Oaks reminds us of why.
This was a great Family Home Evening lesson for our family last week. Here are some of the points we discussed as a family:
Enjoy it as a family. Since I have a lot of teens who would rather be anywhere other than with their family, it was nice to have Elder Oaks to back me up on the family part of the meeting.
Not to comment on other people’s behavior and understand that their level of understanding is not quite there and to lovingly and gently teach them about such things.
We shouldn’t be holding conversations and chit chat while the congregation is gathering. That business needs to be taken care of elsewhere. This is so hard when others don’t live this law. I know it is hard for one of my calling as I pass out papers when new VT assignments are given. The only place I can do it is at church and before sacrament meeting as I’m in primary for the rest of the meetings. (this is where my two callings collide.)
The importance of the meeting should be on the sacrament and all the other things should be focus on that. From talks, to music, to business. It should all reflect on our Savior and the gospel.
Dress—white shirts and conservative ties. Since we do that, we talked about how they should look—PRESSED! We also comments on how we should NEVER judge another by their dress on Sunday. We brought out the point that one year while we were vacationing we wore our blue jeans to church because we weren’t sure we would have access to an iron or electricity. The boys were white polo shirts, jeans and even tennis and Jessie and I wore simple skirts. Our attitude in the way we dress is more important than what we wear, but when we can (which is most all the time) we should be conservative in our dress and if it can’t pass the “would I shake the hand of the prophet wearing this” test then change.
And lastly with so many Priesthood holders and future Priesthood holders in our family it was important for us to go over their duties, the reason for their duties and the manner in which they perform their duties.
It was a great discussion and I hope it sank in.
Because My Father Read the Book of Mormon
My thoughts on Elder Aidukaitis’ talk “Because My Father Read the Book of Mormon”
First off, what a last name—I just barely got President Uchtdorft’s mane correctly spelled and now they throw another name at me. ~smile~. And better, what a family history! All those places, all those languages and what a blessing that was. Sometimes families take the long way in finding the gospel.
I don’t have anything so miraculous in my history, but we do have two stories on my mom’s side that stick out.
One great-great grandfather was a slave owner in Alabama. He joked that he could only own 99 of them because as soon as he got 100 one would run away. He was a fair and loving slave owner and never beat his slaves and treated them kindly. He needed them to run his huge plantations. He was also a drunk! He had four lovely southern belle daughters and a young adult son at the time he joined the church. His son was actually away from home on an errand when the missionaries found this family.
The story goes that one of the young missionaries was home sick and was nursing his heart in a tavern (remember back then that is was the only place in town to get food or drink). My grandfather Holladay was of course visiting the establishment when these three people met. This young missionary had left a wife at home—just married for days when he set off on his mission—and grandfather Holladay thought he could cheer him up by introducing him to his lovely girls at home. On the way to their plantation the missionaries did what missionaries were supposed to do and converted my drunk grandfather. After the missionaries met the family and had dinner with them they taught the rest of the family and planned the baptisms for the next day on their plantation.
The next day came and everyone of the family was baptized and a few of the house slaves were as well. As grandfather Holladay tells it, “That day I became the richest man in the world.” After he dried off he called his head slave and told him that he should round up all the slaves as he had an important announcement to tell them. He them gave each of them a slip of paper that freed them, every one of them. He didn’t sell them, he didn’t trade them, he freed them. A few more slaves were baptized after that as well. We have no record of these baptisms but the girls recorded them in their diaries.
He then sold his home and land at a great lost and went to Nauvoo to help build the temple. His son who was away when all this was happening went with the family to Nauvoo and as he was working on the temple realized that HE hadn’t been baptized and was baptized. We have contradictory records when it comes to recording this part of the history. He was either baptized or confirmed by one of the Smith brothers. The prophet Joseph and/or his brother Hyrum were both involved in his baptism but we don’t know how. We have authenticated records stating that Joseph baptized him and that Hyrum confirmed him, but we also have records that his father baptized him and that Joseph confirmed him. And then to complicate matters we have that they were just in attendance.
That son, John Daniel Holladay, Jr., was one of Brigham Young’s advanced party and spotted the Salt Lake Valley. Holladay, Utah is also named after the father.
I’m sure in there they read the Book of Mormon as their faith was extremely strong and the gospel rang true to them.
The other side of the family is just as wonderful. It was full of persecution and trial as it took them over a decade to get from Norway to Salt Lake one by one.
Of course there is more to each story but their faith and courage encourage me to continue on the path they have set for our family.
Elder Aidukaitis give us some great talking points for our children:
1. Read and ponder
How many of us forget the pondering part? But we all have to start somewhere. If we continue to read the words, thoughts, doctrines start to sink into our thoughts and then we are pondering. It is a magical and miraculous moment when that happens to you or a child.
2. Pray to receive a testimony
This is a natural step after the pondering process, but sometimes we think we already have testimony or are leaning on those who went before us and forget to get our own. We need to pray to find out if what we are reading is true—confirmation brings about more personal revelation.
3. Then pray with sincerity and real intent
meaning to act upon that testimony. OUCH! What do we do with the testimony we receive? Do we live our life with that conviction and determination to live the gospel? Can we be convicted in a court of being a believer and a follower of Christ?
It will all come from reading the Book of Mormon for ourselves and getting the testimony that MY family had when they first set the ball rolling for our family.
First off, what a last name—I just barely got President Uchtdorft’s mane correctly spelled and now they throw another name at me. ~smile~. And better, what a family history! All those places, all those languages and what a blessing that was. Sometimes families take the long way in finding the gospel.
I don’t have anything so miraculous in my history, but we do have two stories on my mom’s side that stick out.
One great-great grandfather was a slave owner in Alabama. He joked that he could only own 99 of them because as soon as he got 100 one would run away. He was a fair and loving slave owner and never beat his slaves and treated them kindly. He needed them to run his huge plantations. He was also a drunk! He had four lovely southern belle daughters and a young adult son at the time he joined the church. His son was actually away from home on an errand when the missionaries found this family.
The story goes that one of the young missionaries was home sick and was nursing his heart in a tavern (remember back then that is was the only place in town to get food or drink). My grandfather Holladay was of course visiting the establishment when these three people met. This young missionary had left a wife at home—just married for days when he set off on his mission—and grandfather Holladay thought he could cheer him up by introducing him to his lovely girls at home. On the way to their plantation the missionaries did what missionaries were supposed to do and converted my drunk grandfather. After the missionaries met the family and had dinner with them they taught the rest of the family and planned the baptisms for the next day on their plantation.
The next day came and everyone of the family was baptized and a few of the house slaves were as well. As grandfather Holladay tells it, “That day I became the richest man in the world.” After he dried off he called his head slave and told him that he should round up all the slaves as he had an important announcement to tell them. He them gave each of them a slip of paper that freed them, every one of them. He didn’t sell them, he didn’t trade them, he freed them. A few more slaves were baptized after that as well. We have no record of these baptisms but the girls recorded them in their diaries.
He then sold his home and land at a great lost and went to Nauvoo to help build the temple. His son who was away when all this was happening went with the family to Nauvoo and as he was working on the temple realized that HE hadn’t been baptized and was baptized. We have contradictory records when it comes to recording this part of the history. He was either baptized or confirmed by one of the Smith brothers. The prophet Joseph and/or his brother Hyrum were both involved in his baptism but we don’t know how. We have authenticated records stating that Joseph baptized him and that Hyrum confirmed him, but we also have records that his father baptized him and that Joseph confirmed him. And then to complicate matters we have that they were just in attendance.
That son, John Daniel Holladay, Jr., was one of Brigham Young’s advanced party and spotted the Salt Lake Valley. Holladay, Utah is also named after the father.
I’m sure in there they read the Book of Mormon as their faith was extremely strong and the gospel rang true to them.
The other side of the family is just as wonderful. It was full of persecution and trial as it took them over a decade to get from Norway to Salt Lake one by one.
Of course there is more to each story but their faith and courage encourage me to continue on the path they have set for our family.
Elder Aidukaitis give us some great talking points for our children:
1. Read and ponder
How many of us forget the pondering part? But we all have to start somewhere. If we continue to read the words, thoughts, doctrines start to sink into our thoughts and then we are pondering. It is a magical and miraculous moment when that happens to you or a child.
2. Pray to receive a testimony
This is a natural step after the pondering process, but sometimes we think we already have testimony or are leaning on those who went before us and forget to get our own. We need to pray to find out if what we are reading is true—confirmation brings about more personal revelation.
3. Then pray with sincerity and real intent
meaning to act upon that testimony. OUCH! What do we do with the testimony we receive? Do we live our life with that conviction and determination to live the gospel? Can we be convicted in a court of being a believer and a follower of Christ?
It will all come from reading the Book of Mormon for ourselves and getting the testimony that MY family had when they first set the ball rolling for our family.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
You Know Enough
My thoughts on Elder Andersen’s talk “You Know Enough”
I’m really struggling right now with self worth and self pity. I’m trying so very hard not to get “down in the dumps” with all that has been happening in our home. I wish I could list them, but that is for a different blog. Needless to say, I sometimes wonder if He hears me. As a child I’m tempted to yell, “Are you there? Don’t you see the mess I’m in down here? What is taking you so long?”
I sometimes wonder…
Thankfully I have this to rely on “…we each have moments of spiritual power, moments of inspiration and revelation. We must sink them deep into the chambers of our souls. As we do, we prepare our spiritual home storage for moments of personal difficulty.”
I’m living on that spiritual home storage. I just hope that whatever I have in the well doesn’t run out as I’m going through a lot of it right now. I hope that I’m like the wise virgins or the mother who kept going back to the jar of oil and found some. I have no idea when it will run out but I hope it is Heavenly Father’s math because right now our family needs blessings we probably haven’t even earned and rightfully don’t deserve.
Here’s to knowing enough to getting you through the difficult times.
I’m really struggling right now with self worth and self pity. I’m trying so very hard not to get “down in the dumps” with all that has been happening in our home. I wish I could list them, but that is for a different blog. Needless to say, I sometimes wonder if He hears me. As a child I’m tempted to yell, “Are you there? Don’t you see the mess I’m in down here? What is taking you so long?”
I sometimes wonder…
Thankfully I have this to rely on “…we each have moments of spiritual power, moments of inspiration and revelation. We must sink them deep into the chambers of our souls. As we do, we prepare our spiritual home storage for moments of personal difficulty.”
I’m living on that spiritual home storage. I just hope that whatever I have in the well doesn’t run out as I’m going through a lot of it right now. I hope that I’m like the wise virgins or the mother who kept going back to the jar of oil and found some. I have no idea when it will run out but I hope it is Heavenly Father’s math because right now our family needs blessings we probably haven’t even earned and rightfully don’t deserve.
Here’s to knowing enough to getting you through the difficult times.
Go Ye Therefore
My thoughts on Sister Allred’s talk “Go Ye Therefore”
I’m not very missionary minded—never have been and it will probably take a child on a mission to even get me to say anything to my friends. I think the biggest hang up is that most of my friends are members. I don’t work, do PTSA, visit a local coffee shop, etc and I hang out with people who share the same religion as I do. Yes, I coach soccer, but I coach the kids and seldom interact with the parents. I actually know them better as “Bob’s Mom” or “Molly’s Dad” than Mr. and Mrs. So when I hear talks like this I often tend to dismiss them and for the most part I dismissed this talk as well.
But something struck me. “Every day after school, we would race home to get to the book first.” Do I “race” to get to “the book”? Do I set aside time to drown in The Book of Mormon? And if I don’t what is stopping me? What am I doing instead of that?
I needed this reality check to get me back on track of “racing home” to read “the book”.
I’m not very missionary minded—never have been and it will probably take a child on a mission to even get me to say anything to my friends. I think the biggest hang up is that most of my friends are members. I don’t work, do PTSA, visit a local coffee shop, etc and I hang out with people who share the same religion as I do. Yes, I coach soccer, but I coach the kids and seldom interact with the parents. I actually know them better as “Bob’s Mom” or “Molly’s Dad” than Mr. and Mrs. So when I hear talks like this I often tend to dismiss them and for the most part I dismissed this talk as well.
But something struck me. “Every day after school, we would race home to get to the book first.” Do I “race” to get to “the book”? Do I set aside time to drown in The Book of Mormon? And if I don’t what is stopping me? What am I doing instead of that?
I needed this reality check to get me back on track of “racing home” to read “the book”.
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