My thoughts on Elder Hales' talk "Seeking to Know God, Our Heavenly Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ".
A long time ago I was asked to give a talk in church on our Heavenly Father. It was fathers day and I got this assignment whereas my friend go our earthly father. I don't know if you have ever studied "Heavenly Father" in the scriptures, but there are very few times he is mentioned. He only appears when he is introducing His Son. But as you study you will begin to know Him because you know His Son. They are like one. What the Son did, he did because his father did it. Very mind boggling at first and hard to type (at least right now) but it is beautiful and simple. I felt that Elder Hales just put a period at the end of what I learned all those years ago.
I don't need to see either man to know of them, about them or who they are. I feel them in my heart and I see them in the hearts of others who are doing good. I seek to know them through my own study and prayer. I don't need a burning bush, a visit from heaven to know. I just need to study and pray and I have my testimony.
Logically it makes sense as well, but I don't need logic to tell me that there are three being that are unique and yet the same. I have felt the confirmation when I asked. Moroni told us to ask and I did. But the sticking point is with a "sincere heart" not a weak one, but with one that really wants to know. We all have to find that spot in our heart one day and do the asking. Then we need to listen to the answer.
Elder Hales said it best:
"However, we must be careful not to constrain His influence. When we do not do what is right or when our outlook is dominated by skepticism, cynicism, criticism, and irreverence toward others and their beliefs, the Spirit cannot be with us. We then act in a way that the prophets describe as the natural man.
"“The natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” This “natural man is an enemy to God, . . . and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, . . . and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, [and] full of love.”
"If we do not yield to the gentle influence of the Holy Ghost, we stand in jeopardy of becoming like Korihor, an anti-Christ in the Book of Mormon. Not only did Korihor disbelieve in God, but he also ridiculed the Savior, the Atonement, and the spirit of prophecy, falsely teaching that there is no God and no Christ."
Amen!
"Brothers and sisters, you may already know, deep in your soul, that God lives. You may not know all about Him yet and do not understand all His ways, but the light of belief is within you, waiting to be awakened and intensified by the Spirit of God and the Light of Christ, which you are born with."
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Love and Law
My thoughts on Elder Oaks' talk "Love and Law"
I love how in the Ensign (or online) this follows Pres. Uchtdorf's talk on love. (That is if you skip the sustaining and business messages.) I can also hear his lawyer voice in this talk. When he gave it I swore I was in a court room or school room being given one of the best lectures around. I love this talk as well (is there one I don't love?). I'm going to remember this one. In the family I live in this helps me live and love them more fully and if I ever get the chance someday I will show this to them and maybe they will at least understand why.
"My message is that God’s universal and perfect love is shown in all the blessings of His gospel plan, including the fact that His choicest blessings are reserved for those who obey His laws. These are eternal principles that should guide parents in their love and teaching of their children."
His choicest blessings! I will obey to get those blessings. I now just need to use them as my guide to teaching my children.
I love how he spells it out--no holding anything back (that must be the lawyer in him).
(paraphrase) Parental love should not override the commandments of divine law and the teachings of parents.
WOW! I'm so glad I can put that in my vocabulary.
"The love of God does not supersede His laws and His commands, and the effect of God's laws and commandments does not diminish the purpose and effect of His love."
Chew on that for a while. Then he adds, "The same should be true of parental love and rules."
Now that my head is swimming.
More to chew on and throw your brain in the deeper end of this pool.
"God’s love for His children is an eternal reality, but why does He love us so much, and why do we desire that love? The answer is found in the relationship between God’s love and His laws.
"Some seem to value God’s love because of their hope that His love is so great and so unconditional that it will mercifully excuse them from obeying His laws. In contrast, those who understand God’s plan for His children know that God’s laws are invariable, which is another great evidence of His love for His children. Mercy cannot rob justice, and those who obtain mercy are “they who have kept the covenant and observed the commandment”.
"God’s love is so perfect that He lovingly requires us to obey His commandments because He knows that only through obedience to His laws can we become perfect, as He is. For this reason, God’s anger and His wrath are not a contradiction of His love but an evidence of His love. Every parent knows that you can love a child totally and completely while still being creatively angry and disappointed at that child’s self-defeating behavior."
(How do I get a hard hearted child to read this? And/or how do I tell him this?)
Now that we are in the deep end, let's go deeper with Elder Oaks.
Gifts:
Mortality--gift one.
Resurrection--gift two.
And these two gifts EVERYONE gets. No matter what. Just because he loves us and we are is children.
But the rest are tied to our personal obedience. (D&C 130:20-21) This is true for most of our parental laws as well.
"God’s choicest blessings are clearly contingent upon obedience to God’s laws and commandments."
Now here is the one principle that I want to have but revoke from my children ~grin~
AGENCY!
"Agency—our power to choose—is fundamental to the gospel plan that brings us to earth. God does not intervene to forestall the consequences of some persons’ choices in order to protect the well-being of other persons—even when they kill, injure, or oppress one another—for this would destroy His plan for our eternal progress.8 He will bless us to endure the consequences of others’ choices, but He will not prevent those choices."
In my last post I talked about this as our one and only true thing we can give Him in return for everything He has given us. Because he doesn't choose for us, we must choose Him.
Can this next quote be spoken in every town, city, village, country side, home, and heart? Please?
"The effect of God’s commandments and laws is not changed to accommodate popular behavior or desires. If anyone thinks that godly or parental love for an individual grants the loved one license to disobey the law, he or she does not understand either love or law. The Lord declared: “That which breaketh a law, and abideth not by law, but seeketh to become a law unto itself, and willeth to abide in sin, and altogether abideth in sin, cannot be sanctified by law, neither by mercy, justice, nor judgment. Therefore, they must remain filthy still”.
(Part IV of this talk was one huge highlighted mess in my Ensign. ~smile~ I should just copy and paste the whole thing.)
"In teaching and reacting to their children, parents have many opportunities to apply these principles. One such opportunity has to do with the gifts parents bestow on their children. Just as God has bestowed some gifts on all of His mortal children without requiring their personal obedience to His laws, parents provide many benefits like housing and food even if their children are not in total harmony with all parental requirements. But, following the example of an all-wise and loving Heavenly Father who has given laws and commandments for the benefit of His children, wise parents condition some parental gifts on obedience."
(I'm glad I got to reread this just after an argument with my child. I just might be a better parent next time around.)
"Where does a parent draw the line?"
I love his answer. "That is a matter for parental wisdom, guided by the inspiration of the Lord."
"As parents grapple with these problems, they should remember the Lord’s teaching that we leave the ninety and nine and go out into the wilderness to rescue the lost sheep."
Now I have a serious question here. When do you say, "I love that one who has walked away, but the 99 I left behind need me"? Seriously I need to know because I feel like I'm leaving the 99 to wonder and become lost themselves.
"Parents should also remember the Lord’s frequent teaching that “whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth” (Hebrews 12:6). In his conference talk on tolerance and love, Elder Russell M. Nelson taught that “real love for the sinner may compel courageous confrontation—not acquiescence! Real love does not support self-destructing behavior.”"
I have felt His chastening. I hope never to feel it so severely again. I just hope that those in my family who have felt it will move towards correcting the behavior.
And here is the biggest reminder of them all:
"In the midst of such stress, we must endure the reality that the straying of our loved ones will detract from our happiness, but it should not detract from our love for one another or our patient efforts to be united in understanding God’s love and God’s laws."
I will not let a wondering child--no matter who it be--distract me from my path to happiness. I will not let them mix up the love and law in my mind. We have laws so that we can love--love as Christ did. I will love the sinner, not the sin, even if that sinner is me.
As an aside: I stumble every time I say his name. He was President Oaks while I was at BYU and it is so hard not to call him President Oaks. I even worked in the administration building and got to meet him once.
I love how in the Ensign (or online) this follows Pres. Uchtdorf's talk on love. (That is if you skip the sustaining and business messages.) I can also hear his lawyer voice in this talk. When he gave it I swore I was in a court room or school room being given one of the best lectures around. I love this talk as well (is there one I don't love?). I'm going to remember this one. In the family I live in this helps me live and love them more fully and if I ever get the chance someday I will show this to them and maybe they will at least understand why.
"My message is that God’s universal and perfect love is shown in all the blessings of His gospel plan, including the fact that His choicest blessings are reserved for those who obey His laws. These are eternal principles that should guide parents in their love and teaching of their children."
His choicest blessings! I will obey to get those blessings. I now just need to use them as my guide to teaching my children.
I love how he spells it out--no holding anything back (that must be the lawyer in him).
(paraphrase) Parental love should not override the commandments of divine law and the teachings of parents.
WOW! I'm so glad I can put that in my vocabulary.
"The love of God does not supersede His laws and His commands, and the effect of God's laws and commandments does not diminish the purpose and effect of His love."
Chew on that for a while. Then he adds, "The same should be true of parental love and rules."
Now that my head is swimming.
More to chew on and throw your brain in the deeper end of this pool.
"God’s love for His children is an eternal reality, but why does He love us so much, and why do we desire that love? The answer is found in the relationship between God’s love and His laws.
"Some seem to value God’s love because of their hope that His love is so great and so unconditional that it will mercifully excuse them from obeying His laws. In contrast, those who understand God’s plan for His children know that God’s laws are invariable, which is another great evidence of His love for His children. Mercy cannot rob justice, and those who obtain mercy are “they who have kept the covenant and observed the commandment”.
"God’s love is so perfect that He lovingly requires us to obey His commandments because He knows that only through obedience to His laws can we become perfect, as He is. For this reason, God’s anger and His wrath are not a contradiction of His love but an evidence of His love. Every parent knows that you can love a child totally and completely while still being creatively angry and disappointed at that child’s self-defeating behavior."
(How do I get a hard hearted child to read this? And/or how do I tell him this?)
Now that we are in the deep end, let's go deeper with Elder Oaks.
Gifts:
Mortality--gift one.
Resurrection--gift two.
And these two gifts EVERYONE gets. No matter what. Just because he loves us and we are is children.
But the rest are tied to our personal obedience. (D&C 130:20-21) This is true for most of our parental laws as well.
"God’s choicest blessings are clearly contingent upon obedience to God’s laws and commandments."
Now here is the one principle that I want to have but revoke from my children ~grin~
AGENCY!
"Agency—our power to choose—is fundamental to the gospel plan that brings us to earth. God does not intervene to forestall the consequences of some persons’ choices in order to protect the well-being of other persons—even when they kill, injure, or oppress one another—for this would destroy His plan for our eternal progress.8 He will bless us to endure the consequences of others’ choices, but He will not prevent those choices."
In my last post I talked about this as our one and only true thing we can give Him in return for everything He has given us. Because he doesn't choose for us, we must choose Him.
Can this next quote be spoken in every town, city, village, country side, home, and heart? Please?
"The effect of God’s commandments and laws is not changed to accommodate popular behavior or desires. If anyone thinks that godly or parental love for an individual grants the loved one license to disobey the law, he or she does not understand either love or law. The Lord declared: “That which breaketh a law, and abideth not by law, but seeketh to become a law unto itself, and willeth to abide in sin, and altogether abideth in sin, cannot be sanctified by law, neither by mercy, justice, nor judgment. Therefore, they must remain filthy still”.
(Part IV of this talk was one huge highlighted mess in my Ensign. ~smile~ I should just copy and paste the whole thing.)
"In teaching and reacting to their children, parents have many opportunities to apply these principles. One such opportunity has to do with the gifts parents bestow on their children. Just as God has bestowed some gifts on all of His mortal children without requiring their personal obedience to His laws, parents provide many benefits like housing and food even if their children are not in total harmony with all parental requirements. But, following the example of an all-wise and loving Heavenly Father who has given laws and commandments for the benefit of His children, wise parents condition some parental gifts on obedience."
(I'm glad I got to reread this just after an argument with my child. I just might be a better parent next time around.)
"Where does a parent draw the line?"
I love his answer. "That is a matter for parental wisdom, guided by the inspiration of the Lord."
"As parents grapple with these problems, they should remember the Lord’s teaching that we leave the ninety and nine and go out into the wilderness to rescue the lost sheep."
Now I have a serious question here. When do you say, "I love that one who has walked away, but the 99 I left behind need me"? Seriously I need to know because I feel like I'm leaving the 99 to wonder and become lost themselves.
"Parents should also remember the Lord’s frequent teaching that “whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth” (Hebrews 12:6). In his conference talk on tolerance and love, Elder Russell M. Nelson taught that “real love for the sinner may compel courageous confrontation—not acquiescence! Real love does not support self-destructing behavior.”"
I have felt His chastening. I hope never to feel it so severely again. I just hope that those in my family who have felt it will move towards correcting the behavior.
And here is the biggest reminder of them all:
"In the midst of such stress, we must endure the reality that the straying of our loved ones will detract from our happiness, but it should not detract from our love for one another or our patient efforts to be united in understanding God’s love and God’s laws."
I will not let a wondering child--no matter who it be--distract me from my path to happiness. I will not let them mix up the love and law in my mind. We have laws so that we can love--love as Christ did. I will love the sinner, not the sin, even if that sinner is me.
As an aside: I stumble every time I say his name. He was President Oaks while I was at BYU and it is so hard not to call him President Oaks. I even worked in the administration building and got to meet him once.
The Love of God
My thoughts on Pres. Uchtdorf's talk "The Love of God"
"Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk."
How do you get this in your heart when a child's actions are breaking it? (Maybe I shouldn't type this right after a huge argument with that child and a rotten day period, but then again maybe it is like when you say, "I don't feel like praying," that when you need to do it the most.)
I do love this child. I have to or I would have kicked him out by now. I have these arguments with him now because later they will cost one of us a lot more (money, time, energy and love).
Back to the talk...
Why Should I Love God?
Good question. And the other one is "Do I?"
"For what we love determines what we seek."
"What we seek determines what we think and do."
"What we think and do determines who we are--and who we will become."
AMEN! I couldn't say it any better. I think I'm going to print that out and put it up somewhere in my home.
"Since the beginning of time, love has been the source of both the highest bliss and the heaviest burdens. At the heart of misery from the days of Adam until today, you will find the love of wrong things. And at the heart of joy, you will find the love of good things."
That is a true statement because of the fall. We can't know love unless we know a broken heart. We can't know peace unless we know strife. I just wish we knew/had more positive and loving times inside my home.
Why does Heavenly Father Love Me?
I wonder that all the time. Why does he love a sinner and good-for-nothing daughter. I know I would have kicked me out long ago. But now that I have children I know why. Breaks my heart thinking about how much hurt I have caused him and how that doesn't matter to him as long as I recognize the pain and sin and change my ways.
I guess that is what hurts my mother heart so much right now. There is no change and only hatred and bitterness toward us. We are ruining his life.
I guess I better hold out that hope that our Heavenly Father has for me for my son.
Love this quote: "Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely."
How Can I Increase my Love of God?
"However, seeking God with all our hearts implies much more than simply offering a prayer or pronouncing a few words inviting God into our lives. “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.” We can make a great production of saying that we know God. We can proclaim publicly that we love Him. Nevertheless, if we don’t obey Him, all is in vain, for “he that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”"
This goes with the walking and the talking that Elder Bednar talked about. We can't be hypocrites.
As you know I'm running a half marathon in May. There is NO WAY I could run this without putting in all the months of training. There is no way to gain a testimony or keep the commandment but just saying it, you have to put in the months of preparations and training. It is about being consistent with the little things that great things will happen. (I know there is a scripture along those lines, but if I go hunting for it I will get distracted and never get back here.)
My little voice of comfort and hope:
"My dear brothers and sisters, don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you."
You know I never thought I could run for 30 minutes, and now I'm running for 40 and next week I ramp it up to 60 minutes. Soon I will run 120 minutes (maybe more--don't know how fast I can run 13.1 miles). Little by little I've been able to do it and little by little I will feel his love again and regain that wonderful testimony.
How Can I Hear the Father's Voice?
"As you reach out to your Heavenly Father, as you pray to Him in the name of Christ, He will answer you. He speaks to us everywhere."
I see him everywhere and now I have to pay attention to his voice. I have heard it a few time (well felt it more than "heard") and I need to do that again. And this is why:
"If you listen for the voice of the Father, He will lead you on a course that will allow you to experience the pure love of Christ."
I need to feel that pure love again. I need to feel uplifted. I need to love so I can feel love.
Why is Love the Great Commandment?
"Love is the guiding light that illuminates the disciple’s path and fills our daily walk with life, meaning, and wonder.
Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship.
Love is the way of the disciple."
As I ponder that question my answer is because it is about the only thing that we have that wasn't given to us. Our will, our emotions and our actions are the only thing that our Father in Heaven didn't give us. He gives us everything else--even the air we breath, but the only thing we can give him (or others) is our emotions--our love (or hatred), empathy, kindness, etc. It is the greatest commandment because it is the only proof we are truly given our self to Him.
"Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk."
How do you get this in your heart when a child's actions are breaking it? (Maybe I shouldn't type this right after a huge argument with that child and a rotten day period, but then again maybe it is like when you say, "I don't feel like praying," that when you need to do it the most.)
I do love this child. I have to or I would have kicked him out by now. I have these arguments with him now because later they will cost one of us a lot more (money, time, energy and love).
Back to the talk...
Why Should I Love God?
Good question. And the other one is "Do I?"
"For what we love determines what we seek."
"What we seek determines what we think and do."
"What we think and do determines who we are--and who we will become."
AMEN! I couldn't say it any better. I think I'm going to print that out and put it up somewhere in my home.
"Since the beginning of time, love has been the source of both the highest bliss and the heaviest burdens. At the heart of misery from the days of Adam until today, you will find the love of wrong things. And at the heart of joy, you will find the love of good things."
That is a true statement because of the fall. We can't know love unless we know a broken heart. We can't know peace unless we know strife. I just wish we knew/had more positive and loving times inside my home.
Why does Heavenly Father Love Me?
I wonder that all the time. Why does he love a sinner and good-for-nothing daughter. I know I would have kicked me out long ago. But now that I have children I know why. Breaks my heart thinking about how much hurt I have caused him and how that doesn't matter to him as long as I recognize the pain and sin and change my ways.
I guess that is what hurts my mother heart so much right now. There is no change and only hatred and bitterness toward us. We are ruining his life.
I guess I better hold out that hope that our Heavenly Father has for me for my son.
Love this quote: "Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely."
How Can I Increase my Love of God?
"However, seeking God with all our hearts implies much more than simply offering a prayer or pronouncing a few words inviting God into our lives. “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.” We can make a great production of saying that we know God. We can proclaim publicly that we love Him. Nevertheless, if we don’t obey Him, all is in vain, for “he that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”"
This goes with the walking and the talking that Elder Bednar talked about. We can't be hypocrites.
As you know I'm running a half marathon in May. There is NO WAY I could run this without putting in all the months of training. There is no way to gain a testimony or keep the commandment but just saying it, you have to put in the months of preparations and training. It is about being consistent with the little things that great things will happen. (I know there is a scripture along those lines, but if I go hunting for it I will get distracted and never get back here.)
My little voice of comfort and hope:
"My dear brothers and sisters, don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you."
You know I never thought I could run for 30 minutes, and now I'm running for 40 and next week I ramp it up to 60 minutes. Soon I will run 120 minutes (maybe more--don't know how fast I can run 13.1 miles). Little by little I've been able to do it and little by little I will feel his love again and regain that wonderful testimony.
How Can I Hear the Father's Voice?
"As you reach out to your Heavenly Father, as you pray to Him in the name of Christ, He will answer you. He speaks to us everywhere."
I see him everywhere and now I have to pay attention to his voice. I have heard it a few time (well felt it more than "heard") and I need to do that again. And this is why:
"If you listen for the voice of the Father, He will lead you on a course that will allow you to experience the pure love of Christ."
I need to feel that pure love again. I need to feel uplifted. I need to love so I can feel love.
Why is Love the Great Commandment?
"Love is the guiding light that illuminates the disciple’s path and fills our daily walk with life, meaning, and wonder.
Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship.
Love is the way of the disciple."
As I ponder that question my answer is because it is about the only thing that we have that wasn't given to us. Our will, our emotions and our actions are the only thing that our Father in Heaven didn't give us. He gives us everything else--even the air we breath, but the only thing we can give him (or others) is our emotions--our love (or hatred), empathy, kindness, etc. It is the greatest commandment because it is the only proof we are truly given our self to Him.
More Diligent and Concerned at Home--Part 3
Part 3
Be Consistent
I think this was my favorite part of the entire conference because it gives me such hope. I'm struggling with a young son and have to hold to the promise of being consistent.
When I was a little girl and watched the movies (remember the film strips?) the Church produced for us, I was in awe at the little children in their best dress and so reverent at FHE. I just couldn't wait until I had a family just like that. I knew my kids would fold their arms, all read along and be so good.
Reality check! WOW was that picture so wrong. It is so nice to read that Elder Bednar's family is much like mine. I can only hope that my boys and girl will be as faithful and turn out so well.
I have heard all those excuses. I have heard all the tattling. I have had the constant distractions and it has driven me to questions why we do this. So many mornings while I'm begging and dragging my kids out of bed for family scripture study I stop and think, "I really don't need the fight." But then the words of my mom and Elder Bednar start to echo through my mind. "They need it."
I remember my mother holding FHE for just one of us (there was seven kids at one time). I thought what a waste of time and energy (so teenager of me), but now I'm so thankful for that example. I remember waking up at 5 am for scriptures (and my non-seminary kids wake up at 7--cry me a river). I remember trying desperately not to fall asleep (you had to read extra if you fell asleep). I also remember that when I went away to school I had a good habit and missed the "family" part of scripture study.
I, like Elder Bednar's children can't tell you one scripture study or FHE or prayer that stands out in my mind--not even the fun activity driven FHE. But I do remember that my mom held it every week.
Think about all the things we do as members of the church and how being consistent is the key. Sunday meetings, tithes, fast offerings, FHE, scripture study, etc. It is said that it only take 28 days to make a habit. Why not try now to make a new habit of family scripture study? (and maybe I need to make a more concerted effort for personal scripture study).
"Being consistent in our homes is important for another reason. Many of the Savior’s harshest rebukes were directed to hypocrites. Jesus warned His disciples concerning the scribes and Pharisees: “Do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not” (Matthew 23:3). This strong admonition is sobering given the counsel to “express love—and show it,” to “bear testimony—and live it,” and to “be consistent.”"
I will NOT be a hypocrite! I will not!
Be Consistent
I think this was my favorite part of the entire conference because it gives me such hope. I'm struggling with a young son and have to hold to the promise of being consistent.
When I was a little girl and watched the movies (remember the film strips?) the Church produced for us, I was in awe at the little children in their best dress and so reverent at FHE. I just couldn't wait until I had a family just like that. I knew my kids would fold their arms, all read along and be so good.
Reality check! WOW was that picture so wrong. It is so nice to read that Elder Bednar's family is much like mine. I can only hope that my boys and girl will be as faithful and turn out so well.
I have heard all those excuses. I have heard all the tattling. I have had the constant distractions and it has driven me to questions why we do this. So many mornings while I'm begging and dragging my kids out of bed for family scripture study I stop and think, "I really don't need the fight." But then the words of my mom and Elder Bednar start to echo through my mind. "They need it."
I remember my mother holding FHE for just one of us (there was seven kids at one time). I thought what a waste of time and energy (so teenager of me), but now I'm so thankful for that example. I remember waking up at 5 am for scriptures (and my non-seminary kids wake up at 7--cry me a river). I remember trying desperately not to fall asleep (you had to read extra if you fell asleep). I also remember that when I went away to school I had a good habit and missed the "family" part of scripture study.
I, like Elder Bednar's children can't tell you one scripture study or FHE or prayer that stands out in my mind--not even the fun activity driven FHE. But I do remember that my mom held it every week.
Think about all the things we do as members of the church and how being consistent is the key. Sunday meetings, tithes, fast offerings, FHE, scripture study, etc. It is said that it only take 28 days to make a habit. Why not try now to make a new habit of family scripture study? (and maybe I need to make a more concerted effort for personal scripture study).
"Being consistent in our homes is important for another reason. Many of the Savior’s harshest rebukes were directed to hypocrites. Jesus warned His disciples concerning the scribes and Pharisees: “Do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not” (Matthew 23:3). This strong admonition is sobering given the counsel to “express love—and show it,” to “bear testimony—and live it,” and to “be consistent.”"
I will NOT be a hypocrite! I will not!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
More Diligent and Concerned at Home--Part 2
Past 2
Bear Testimony and Live it
"Brethren and sisters, when was the last time you bore testimony to your eternal companion?"
I don't think I ever have in the private of our own home. I know he has heard me during Sunday meetings, during FHE, and scripture time, but in private? I'm not sure I have ever told him. I know he knows I have a testimony.
"Parents, when was the last time you declared your witness to your children about the things you know to be true?"
Just the other month in Sacrament meeting and the other week in FHE. I took the time to personally tell them my personal conversion to the gospel. I don't think anyone else knows it (unless they have read my journals).
"And children, when was the last time you shared your testimony with your parents and family?"
I can't answer for them.
"A testimony is what we know to be true in our minds and in our hearts by the witness of the Holy Ghost (see D&C 8:2). As we profess truth rather than admonish, exhort, or simply share interesting experiences, we invite the Holy Ghost to confirm the verity of our words. The power of pure testimony (see Alma 4:19) does not come from sophisticated language or effective presentation; rather, it is the result of revelation conveyed by the third member of the Godhead, even the Holy Ghost."
As I deal with teens who are just growing their testimonies and making life changing events, I need to remember not to admonish but bare truth. It is so hard when you see them make mistakes that you know will really hurt them in the long run. It is like watching a car accident and not being able to do anything.
As we have read the Book of Mormon this year I have noticed how the prophets of old have wisely admonished their "young" sons. I too hope that my words and my testimony will ring true in my young sons' (and daughter's) heart and mind. I'm very fearful, but I have to hold true to the promises given to me in blessings received and covenants I have made.
Bear Testimony and Live it
"Brethren and sisters, when was the last time you bore testimony to your eternal companion?"
I don't think I ever have in the private of our own home. I know he has heard me during Sunday meetings, during FHE, and scripture time, but in private? I'm not sure I have ever told him. I know he knows I have a testimony.
"Parents, when was the last time you declared your witness to your children about the things you know to be true?"
Just the other month in Sacrament meeting and the other week in FHE. I took the time to personally tell them my personal conversion to the gospel. I don't think anyone else knows it (unless they have read my journals).
"And children, when was the last time you shared your testimony with your parents and family?"
I can't answer for them.
"A testimony is what we know to be true in our minds and in our hearts by the witness of the Holy Ghost (see D&C 8:2). As we profess truth rather than admonish, exhort, or simply share interesting experiences, we invite the Holy Ghost to confirm the verity of our words. The power of pure testimony (see Alma 4:19) does not come from sophisticated language or effective presentation; rather, it is the result of revelation conveyed by the third member of the Godhead, even the Holy Ghost."
As I deal with teens who are just growing their testimonies and making life changing events, I need to remember not to admonish but bare truth. It is so hard when you see them make mistakes that you know will really hurt them in the long run. It is like watching a car accident and not being able to do anything.
As we have read the Book of Mormon this year I have noticed how the prophets of old have wisely admonished their "young" sons. I too hope that my words and my testimony will ring true in my young sons' (and daughter's) heart and mind. I'm very fearful, but I have to hold true to the promises given to me in blessings received and covenants I have made.
More Diligent and Concerned at Home--Love
My thoughts on Elder Bednar's talk "More Diligent and Concerned at Home."
I think this is my favorite talk from this General Conference. When I heard it the first time it was like getting that pat on the back. I also felt like I was listening to my mom telling me that I am doing alright and to keep on going. As I read it now with the news one of our sons gave us, I can only look at it with great hope in a promise. I hear my mom telling me that as long as I'm going what I'm supposed to I will be OK.
I have reread this several times and each time I read it I mark something else. It is beginning to look a lot like Alma 5 ~smile~.
I think I will break this up into a three part post.
Express Love and Show It!
"We simple should sincerely and frequently express love."
How often do we tell our spouse or our children we love them? Probably not enough especially when we are going through a very troubling time with one of them. I need to do better.
Love is expressed in so many ways. I like to be told "I love you" through service. One of the best ways for my children to show me they love me is to do their jobs and then just a bit extra. I know that is how I showed my mom I loved her. That's how I show my husband and my kids.
The second way would be to say it. I write that and then know how easy it is to through the "I love you" words out there and not mean them. There has to be some meaning behind them.
Another way is through time spent together. I think as a homeschooling family that sometimes get lost and we need to make an effort to set aside "love time" (I just came up with that phrase). It is so hard. I know now that my kids are older they are here, there and everywhere and I'm not sure when I will have the time to be with them next. And the teens don't want to be with me. I'm not cool and being with your mom isn't cool. Oh, well.
Hugs are another way and hard to get from my teens. Everyone has a different tolerance to touchy feely love. I don't have a great tolerance, but I don't mind hugs.
Another way is through gifts. I don't like this way at all. Maybe it is because I grew up so poor, but I'm not keen on giving or getting gifts, but when I do give a gift it must really mean I'm thinking of you because it is the last thing on my mind and I must have reach long and hard to come to that conclusion.
(yes, it this is from the five love language theory).
I think this is my favorite talk from this General Conference. When I heard it the first time it was like getting that pat on the back. I also felt like I was listening to my mom telling me that I am doing alright and to keep on going. As I read it now with the news one of our sons gave us, I can only look at it with great hope in a promise. I hear my mom telling me that as long as I'm going what I'm supposed to I will be OK.
I have reread this several times and each time I read it I mark something else. It is beginning to look a lot like Alma 5 ~smile~.
I think I will break this up into a three part post.
Express Love and Show It!
"We simple should sincerely and frequently express love."
How often do we tell our spouse or our children we love them? Probably not enough especially when we are going through a very troubling time with one of them. I need to do better.
Love is expressed in so many ways. I like to be told "I love you" through service. One of the best ways for my children to show me they love me is to do their jobs and then just a bit extra. I know that is how I showed my mom I loved her. That's how I show my husband and my kids.
The second way would be to say it. I write that and then know how easy it is to through the "I love you" words out there and not mean them. There has to be some meaning behind them.
Another way is through time spent together. I think as a homeschooling family that sometimes get lost and we need to make an effort to set aside "love time" (I just came up with that phrase). It is so hard. I know now that my kids are older they are here, there and everywhere and I'm not sure when I will have the time to be with them next. And the teens don't want to be with me. I'm not cool and being with your mom isn't cool. Oh, well.
Hugs are another way and hard to get from my teens. Everyone has a different tolerance to touchy feely love. I don't have a great tolerance, but I don't mind hugs.
Another way is through gifts. I don't like this way at all. Maybe it is because I grew up so poor, but I'm not keen on giving or getting gifts, but when I do give a gift it must really mean I'm thinking of you because it is the last thing on my mind and I must have reach long and hard to come to that conclusion.
(yes, it this is from the five love language theory).
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