My thoughts on Elder Oaks' talk "Divorce"
It looks like we are all on vacation or we don’t want to touch Elder Oaks topic. But Elder Oaks says he has “felt impressed to speak about divorce” so we as a membership must have had to hear it.
I don’t know anyone whose life hasn’t been touched by divorce. For some the impact is more intense than other. For me it has been medium impact. I watched two sibling’s first marriages end in divorce because of unfaithful spouses. I watched my parent’s marriage fall to pieces by uncaring and unloving acts by both sides. I watched a very dear friend’s marriage crumble because of her unfaithful spouse. Of all these that one hit us the most and made us reexamine our marriage. That unhappy event took place 9 years ago and I have still saved those emails and reread them when I feel like our marriage needs a little help. The things Steve and I discussed, though very private, are things I want to remember even unto eternity. It was amazing the ripple effect our friends’ divorce had on our marriage.
When Steve and I were dating (it was a very quick dating period) we drove up Provo Canyon many times discussing a lot of what if’s. Of course our friends hadn’t had their marriage in trouble, but I had watch a sibling go through it and there was no way I was going to drag me, my children or my husband through on and I wanted to make sure Steve understood that before he married me. I wanted to give him every chance to back out because there was no refund policy. I wish I would have written them down more thoroughly, but I do have bits and pieces of them in my journal. It truly was a bonding experience for Steve and me. One thing it really did was make it so we were both on the same page.
But we are supposed to be discussing Elder Oaks talk.
I will not argue with him or anyone that divorce is on the rise and is becoming commonplace. That is such a sad statistic. We as a populous have truly weakened “the concept that marriages are permanent and precious.”
He finishes that statement with what I want to talk about today: “Influenced by their own parent’s divorce or by popular notions that marriage is a ball and chain that prevents personal fulfillment, some young people shun marriage. Many who marry withhold full commitment, poised to flee at the first serious challenge.”
I ask myself these questions: As a parent and partner in a marriage, how do I show my boys and girl what marriage is like? Do I show them it is a hard task, one worth working on or one that is too hard and I give up?
My mother taught me both. She had a very difficult marriage and while the children were in the house she worked on it. I remember book after book she had that talked about relationships and marriages. I think had we the money she would have gone to councilors, but alas we were very poor and councilors were few and far between, especially in the little town I grew up in. I remember her praying for soft hearts and minds. (I don’t think she heard or saw me outside her bedroom door listening as she poured out her desires to the Lord.) What an impact that made on me. I remember how hard she fought for her marriage even though it wasn’t happy—at least for her. She believed in marriage and wanted it desperately to succeed, but alas they couldn’t fix their differences and parting was best for all. I had to pray for confirmation of that fact and it came quickly that here on earth my parents should end their lives in separate homes. They still love each other, just live different lives and living separately will mean they may one day patch up a messed up earthly marriage.
(OK, I started this a few days ago but life just got in the way so change of thoughts….)
I love his third point, “the remedy is not divorce but repentance.” After last week’s talk about forgiveness, boy do I have a lot to repent of and forgive Steve; mainly my rotten, stubborn, prideful attitude. I’m really NOT the ideal marriage partner. I tell Steve often, “I would divorce myself, if I was married to me.” It says a lot that he is sticking with me all these years.
I truly am not one who resolves conflicts in a nice and gentlewomanly way. In fact quite the opposite, my husband likes to use the word row (the British term) because to him fight means pushing and shoving and an argument is something like a debate. We often come to a row, BUT we love each other to either ignore the problem (for the time being) or work our way around it.
BUT, I MUST CHANGE MY WAYS! Steve and I must do as the 1st Presidency has asked.
1. Be best friends
2. Be kind and considerate
3. Be sentitive to each other’s needs
4. Seek always to make each other happy.
5. Be partners in finances
6. Work together to regulate our desires for temporal things
7. Forget past wrongs
8. Forgive always
9. Plead for guidance
10. Over come my own faults
11. Strengthen our relationship with each other and our children
12. (my own) look only for the good and miss the bad!
When Elder Oaks talked about the three people in the marriage I couldn’t help but look at my wedding ring. I have three diamonds. One very large one (ok, not that large, but larger than the others) flanked by two “chip” diamonds set on the side. This wet wasn’t picked by accident. We realized that the Lord (the big diamond) had to be the center of our marriage and we were supporting members to this show. My husband also has three diamonds; only for fashion he only has three chips. They are all in a straight row. This symbols how we must be in a line with each other. I often look down at my ring and remember that, and of course I have had times where I don’t even think about it. But we have lived by the rule of a threesome in our marriage. I’m glad I wasn’t off base and Elder Oaks mentioned it.
Marriage is hard work and if you don’t work on it constantly, well we all know the outcomes as way too many families do as well.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
It's True, Isn't it? Then What Else Matters?
My thought on Elder Andersen's talk "It's True, Isn't It? Then What Else Matters?"
“What else matters,” is a question I often asked myself while growing up, especially as I struggled with my testimony. To this day I still use this when I trial or something comes up to challenge my testimony or commitment to the gospel and my membership to the church.
I also like to remember the scripture given to Oliver, “did I not speak peace into your mind.”
When I think these two statements, I can not help but move forward down the path of membership and testimony.
The hard part will be to impart this desire to my children.
Anyone have any great ideas? As they are struggling to build their own independent testimony what are you doing to help them along? (don’t just say bare your testimony.)
“What else matters,” is a question I often asked myself while growing up, especially as I struggled with my testimony. To this day I still use this when I trial or something comes up to challenge my testimony or commitment to the gospel and my membership to the church.
I also like to remember the scripture given to Oliver, “did I not speak peace into your mind.”
When I think these two statements, I can not help but move forward down the path of membership and testimony.
The hard part will be to impart this desire to my children.
Anyone have any great ideas? As they are struggling to build their own independent testimony what are you doing to help them along? (don’t just say bare your testimony.)
A Lesson From the Book of Mormon
My thoughts on Sister Matsumori's talk "A Lesson from the Book of Mormon"
Book of Mormon Stories that my teacher tells to me...
I love that song so much! One of the first I ever learned to play on the piano and I love that they have added verses!
Our family song (to go along with our school name, Helaman’s Academy) is The Army of Helaman!
We talked about “first generation” members a few months ago—I believe it was in the October 2006 session. My hubby is a first generation—sort of. His parents joined when he was 7 so most of his learning came from church, but he LOVES the Book of Mormon too.
How many of you use the Book of Mormon to teach gospel lessons?
I know that before you can teach something you must know it so therefore we must read and learn.
Do you use them in your school or just during scripture time?
How do you use the Book of Mormon in your school?
(from another post)
Quote:
“Today, reading and studying the scriptures continues to build our faith, helps us resist temptation, and allows us to grow closer to Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.”
This is the primary thing I want my children to leave home with—a testimony of Jesus Christ. If they don’t know their times tables but have a strong testimony, I may have failed in the eyes of the world, but in Heavenly Father’s eyes I have won!
Quote:
“With every reading of the scriptures, unfamiliar words will take on meaning. You can read about heroes and great acts of courage. You can learn of the tender mercies of the Lord. And above all, you can feel the love of God and know that Jesus Christ is our Savior.”
Is there another reason to read the scriptures? NO! We read the scriptures to feel and know that God loves us and Jesus Christ is our Savior.
My 10 years old’s vocabulary is amazing and most of his words come from reading the scriptures. We have never used the “reader” scriptures and have always used the “real” stuff. We made this a matter of prayer and although we do have the “readers” we have never used them in our family scripture time. We did this under the direction of the Spirit. That 10 year old (see above) was learning to read and you know how you have the children parrot back what you read when they are first learning to follow along. Well, one day this child (he was about 5) said to Steve, “Dad, I can read it myself.” Steve looked up at me, I shrugged my shoulders and what do you know? But that boy could read! So much for my reading lessons! I literally up the phonics cards away and just let the boy read! What is more important that the fact he learn to read from daily scripture study (I had only done about five phonics lessons with him and of course he probably sat in for the older children’s lessons) is that he knew the words, was familiar with them as he had been sitting in family scripture time since his birth (all my kids have). He then internalized them and he one of the first to find a scripture story that matches what is going on or teaches the lesson I want taught.
BTW—his other siblings are quick to point out scripture stories too. Guess all that headache to get them around the table is paying off (smile)
I want to share a couple of cool examples—not to pat myself on the back—but to show what obeying the prophets can bring to your home.
A while ago I ran a carpool for a music class my daughter was in. I left my older children at home (I have three teens!) and took these sweet little girls to their music class. I was going to run to the grocery store while the girls were in class since it was just around the corner and down the street. When I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed that my purse was missing. I was also missing my cell phone. I had two choices: go home and collect those things and not go shopping, or just go back to the music class and take a nap. Boy did I want to take a nap, but instead I went home to get my phone and purse. At the time I didn’t know why I wanted my phone. I could have driven without my license, but for some reason the urge to get my phone, not my purse, was the driving force behind me going home.
As I drove to my driveway, I passed it like normal so I can back into it. (If I don’t when I go to leave I have to nearly get all the way out of my driveway before I can see the traffic on my street—too many trees and a very long van.) As I did this I noticed that across the street was a white van with a man in it staring at my house. I backed up and then went up to grab the mail, or so I made out to do, but I really didn’t like that van across the street. No idea why, but I didn’t like the fact that he (I saw a man) in there with my children all over the yard playing. As I got to my mailbox, the van sped away. He went so fast he kicked up the rocks he was on. My already fast heart rate went even faster! My mind that was already racing could have beaten the fastest runner around! My mind raced to the articles I had read and news stories I had heard about a “white van” lurking around schools and neighborhoods. And then that email popped into my head about the recent home burglaries we have had in our neighborhood. I don’t recall if I got the mail or not, but I ran to the home and was screaming that my children all get in the house. One was playing basketball on our sports court with the music blaring, three were on the trampoline, and the other one—I can’t remember—I think he ran up the stairs when I started yelling.
I gathered them together and assured them that they weren’t in trouble (they were supposed to be doing school work) and told them what the trouble was. I gave each of them an assignment (close and lock doors, shut windows etc.) and that they were all going to come with me to finish the carpool. Before I could tell them “go,” by 15 year old said, “Mom, I think we should say a prayer.”
I’m not sure my jaw dropped, but my first thought was, “WOW!” then it was “Why didn’t you think of that, Doreen?” He said a very short and quick prayer and off they went.
Next story:
While on our way to Yellowstone this past June, my husband was driving and we were so close we could taste the fun. We were just about 10 miles from the north park entrance. We were all excited to be done with a very long road trip and eagerly awaiting the grand views this gorgeous park would afford us. Steve asked me to look out my window to see how the trailer was behaving. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. I asked what was wrong and he told me that the car was pulling to the left and he didn’t like the feel of how it was riding. We have been having trouble with our trailer’s tires so he was concerned. Just about then we heard it and the car pulled sharply to the left. We had lost a tire! Front driver side to be exact. Oh the Lord and his tender mercies! We had the flat in the most convenient place! On that whole strip of road there were only about 6 places that you could safely pull off the side of the road to do anything as the shoulders were very small. This place happened to be a very short side road that was graveled for the homes on the side there. Our car literally steered itself there as it was pulling hard to the left.
Our tire had literally come all the way off!
We all hopped out of the car and I went to get the tire out of the middle of the road before someone ran over it and had an accident. Don’t know why I did this, but I used my feet to move it. That tire was very hot and there I go using my feet. Maybe I was thinking I didn’t want to get my hands all dirty, but that hasn’t stopped me before—dirt doesn’t bother me.
As I come back to the car, this very same son comes running to me and asks, “Mom, do you think I should gather the children for prayer?” Of course I said yes. This boy gathers his five siblings and right there on that gravel driveway, six children kneel down and ask Heavenly Father to help Steve change the tire and thank them for their protection.”
Again, I had those very same thoughts run through my mind. “WOW!” then “Why didn’t I think of that?”
As I asked myself that question, I had to remember that in both incidents I had a prayer in my heart as I went about doing what was needful (Mary and Martha) and that it was time for this boy to have those experiences, just like my mom let me have when I was living under her roof. As my mom will tell it, “Doreen prayed many a car to a service station.” I was just like my son; the first to ask a prayer even if it was just my own sweet simple prayer with just me in the circle. I also have to remember the times that I was the one to tell my children, “We need to gather together to pray.” Or “Have you asked Heavenly Father to help you find your ______?” I had to remember that I had been setting the example and not beat myself up with the “Why didn’t I think of that?” question. I had thought of it enough to be an example and someone had actually learned the lesson.
Prayer is something that needs to be taught these young people! Learning to pray while young only helps them later learn how to ponder. And of course they use it in times of trouble and need just like Kray in those two incidents.
Book of Mormon Stories that my teacher tells to me...
I love that song so much! One of the first I ever learned to play on the piano and I love that they have added verses!
Our family song (to go along with our school name, Helaman’s Academy) is The Army of Helaman!
We talked about “first generation” members a few months ago—I believe it was in the October 2006 session. My hubby is a first generation—sort of. His parents joined when he was 7 so most of his learning came from church, but he LOVES the Book of Mormon too.
How many of you use the Book of Mormon to teach gospel lessons?
I know that before you can teach something you must know it so therefore we must read and learn.
Do you use them in your school or just during scripture time?
How do you use the Book of Mormon in your school?
(from another post)
Quote:
“Today, reading and studying the scriptures continues to build our faith, helps us resist temptation, and allows us to grow closer to Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.”
This is the primary thing I want my children to leave home with—a testimony of Jesus Christ. If they don’t know their times tables but have a strong testimony, I may have failed in the eyes of the world, but in Heavenly Father’s eyes I have won!
Quote:
“With every reading of the scriptures, unfamiliar words will take on meaning. You can read about heroes and great acts of courage. You can learn of the tender mercies of the Lord. And above all, you can feel the love of God and know that Jesus Christ is our Savior.”
Is there another reason to read the scriptures? NO! We read the scriptures to feel and know that God loves us and Jesus Christ is our Savior.
My 10 years old’s vocabulary is amazing and most of his words come from reading the scriptures. We have never used the “reader” scriptures and have always used the “real” stuff. We made this a matter of prayer and although we do have the “readers” we have never used them in our family scripture time. We did this under the direction of the Spirit. That 10 year old (see above) was learning to read and you know how you have the children parrot back what you read when they are first learning to follow along. Well, one day this child (he was about 5) said to Steve, “Dad, I can read it myself.” Steve looked up at me, I shrugged my shoulders and what do you know? But that boy could read! So much for my reading lessons! I literally up the phonics cards away and just let the boy read! What is more important that the fact he learn to read from daily scripture study (I had only done about five phonics lessons with him and of course he probably sat in for the older children’s lessons) is that he knew the words, was familiar with them as he had been sitting in family scripture time since his birth (all my kids have). He then internalized them and he one of the first to find a scripture story that matches what is going on or teaches the lesson I want taught.
BTW—his other siblings are quick to point out scripture stories too. Guess all that headache to get them around the table is paying off (smile)
I want to share a couple of cool examples—not to pat myself on the back—but to show what obeying the prophets can bring to your home.
A while ago I ran a carpool for a music class my daughter was in. I left my older children at home (I have three teens!) and took these sweet little girls to their music class. I was going to run to the grocery store while the girls were in class since it was just around the corner and down the street. When I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed that my purse was missing. I was also missing my cell phone. I had two choices: go home and collect those things and not go shopping, or just go back to the music class and take a nap. Boy did I want to take a nap, but instead I went home to get my phone and purse. At the time I didn’t know why I wanted my phone. I could have driven without my license, but for some reason the urge to get my phone, not my purse, was the driving force behind me going home.
As I drove to my driveway, I passed it like normal so I can back into it. (If I don’t when I go to leave I have to nearly get all the way out of my driveway before I can see the traffic on my street—too many trees and a very long van.) As I did this I noticed that across the street was a white van with a man in it staring at my house. I backed up and then went up to grab the mail, or so I made out to do, but I really didn’t like that van across the street. No idea why, but I didn’t like the fact that he (I saw a man) in there with my children all over the yard playing. As I got to my mailbox, the van sped away. He went so fast he kicked up the rocks he was on. My already fast heart rate went even faster! My mind that was already racing could have beaten the fastest runner around! My mind raced to the articles I had read and news stories I had heard about a “white van” lurking around schools and neighborhoods. And then that email popped into my head about the recent home burglaries we have had in our neighborhood. I don’t recall if I got the mail or not, but I ran to the home and was screaming that my children all get in the house. One was playing basketball on our sports court with the music blaring, three were on the trampoline, and the other one—I can’t remember—I think he ran up the stairs when I started yelling.
I gathered them together and assured them that they weren’t in trouble (they were supposed to be doing school work) and told them what the trouble was. I gave each of them an assignment (close and lock doors, shut windows etc.) and that they were all going to come with me to finish the carpool. Before I could tell them “go,” by 15 year old said, “Mom, I think we should say a prayer.”
I’m not sure my jaw dropped, but my first thought was, “WOW!” then it was “Why didn’t you think of that, Doreen?” He said a very short and quick prayer and off they went.
Next story:
While on our way to Yellowstone this past June, my husband was driving and we were so close we could taste the fun. We were just about 10 miles from the north park entrance. We were all excited to be done with a very long road trip and eagerly awaiting the grand views this gorgeous park would afford us. Steve asked me to look out my window to see how the trailer was behaving. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. I asked what was wrong and he told me that the car was pulling to the left and he didn’t like the feel of how it was riding. We have been having trouble with our trailer’s tires so he was concerned. Just about then we heard it and the car pulled sharply to the left. We had lost a tire! Front driver side to be exact. Oh the Lord and his tender mercies! We had the flat in the most convenient place! On that whole strip of road there were only about 6 places that you could safely pull off the side of the road to do anything as the shoulders were very small. This place happened to be a very short side road that was graveled for the homes on the side there. Our car literally steered itself there as it was pulling hard to the left.
Our tire had literally come all the way off!
We all hopped out of the car and I went to get the tire out of the middle of the road before someone ran over it and had an accident. Don’t know why I did this, but I used my feet to move it. That tire was very hot and there I go using my feet. Maybe I was thinking I didn’t want to get my hands all dirty, but that hasn’t stopped me before—dirt doesn’t bother me.
As I come back to the car, this very same son comes running to me and asks, “Mom, do you think I should gather the children for prayer?” Of course I said yes. This boy gathers his five siblings and right there on that gravel driveway, six children kneel down and ask Heavenly Father to help Steve change the tire and thank them for their protection.”
Again, I had those very same thoughts run through my mind. “WOW!” then “Why didn’t I think of that?”
As I asked myself that question, I had to remember that in both incidents I had a prayer in my heart as I went about doing what was needful (Mary and Martha) and that it was time for this boy to have those experiences, just like my mom let me have when I was living under her roof. As my mom will tell it, “Doreen prayed many a car to a service station.” I was just like my son; the first to ask a prayer even if it was just my own sweet simple prayer with just me in the circle. I also have to remember the times that I was the one to tell my children, “We need to gather together to pray.” Or “Have you asked Heavenly Father to help you find your ______?” I had to remember that I had been setting the example and not beat myself up with the “Why didn’t I think of that?” question. I had thought of it enough to be an example and someone had actually learned the lesson.
Prayer is something that needs to be taught these young people! Learning to pray while young only helps them later learn how to ponder. And of course they use it in times of trouble and need just like Kray in those two incidents.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
New Blog
It has almost been a year now that I have taken a walk with the prophets. Impossible you say. My reply is, "No!" I have walked with the prophets and believe I am a better person for doing so.
See, on October 1, 2006, I was watching the fourth session of General Conference from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when I was impressed that I needed to study them one at a time and apply them to my life as a mom, a homeschooler and espcially as a Latter-day Saint.
To help me accomplish this goal, I started a yahoo group for LDS homeschoolers as we applied the teachings of the prophets to our lives as homeschoolers. It is a small group and I like it that way. We are getting to know each other on very simple, complex and spiritual ways. Becuase I admire these parents and respect their privacy, I will not post anything from our converstation on this blog, just my insights. I might add a few of their words as it pertains to conversations we have had, but there will NEVER be any identifing qualities from their post on this blog.
I have grown to admire and respect these friends as we have grown together this past year and hope we can continue to grow.
This is my journey as I walk with Prophets.
NOTE: I have decided to back date all the posts intead of just post them all today.
See, on October 1, 2006, I was watching the fourth session of General Conference from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when I was impressed that I needed to study them one at a time and apply them to my life as a mom, a homeschooler and espcially as a Latter-day Saint.
To help me accomplish this goal, I started a yahoo group for LDS homeschoolers as we applied the teachings of the prophets to our lives as homeschoolers. It is a small group and I like it that way. We are getting to know each other on very simple, complex and spiritual ways. Becuase I admire these parents and respect their privacy, I will not post anything from our converstation on this blog, just my insights. I might add a few of their words as it pertains to conversations we have had, but there will NEVER be any identifing qualities from their post on this blog.
I have grown to admire and respect these friends as we have grown together this past year and hope we can continue to grow.
This is my journey as I walk with Prophets.
NOTE: I have decided to back date all the posts intead of just post them all today.
The Healing Power of Forgivenes
My thought from President Faust's talk "The Healing Power of Forgiveness"
As many of you know, I’m a week behind because of my sister’s death and funeral. I’m not caught up yet, but I did give this talk as a FHE lesson this past Monday. Our family has a habit of remembering past wrongs and I wanted to express to my children the healing power of forgiveness. I wanted them to tell them about what my brother-in-law said at my sister’s funeral, but I couldn’t because I haven’t forgiven my father.
My father was not the best father in fact I would put him on the other side of medium, but not horrible. Because my sister was much older than I was (she was 13 when I was born), she had a different father than I did. But she found it in her to forgive him. I haven’t. I don’t know what it will take, but I still haven’t forgiven my father. Maybe it is because I still have to interact with him (he lives closer to me) or maybe his treatment towards me was someone “harder”. I don’t know and I probably doesn’t matter.
This is truly something that will hold me from the Celestial Kingdom and I think of it often. For the most part I have forgiven him, but when I have to be with him, all those feelings and behaviors that I didn’t like and that hurt me so much, come boiling to the surface again.
I also have a hard time forgiving him for the emotional abuse he caused my mother. It was extensive and I assume grew harder to bare as eventually my mother divorced him.
Melinda, I ask the same question you do here, “why do I not forgive?” I do not know and I need to explore it more, but I guess the feelings are still very raw and hurtful.
I guess I need to follow Pres. Faust’s guidelines:
My father never did anything physical to me as his treatment towards me was all emotional. He was a very distant father until there was a crowd to play to. I’m not sure where forgetting plays in forgiveness, and if it does play a part in it then I don’t know I if I will ever forgive because it is hard to forget the words and actions of my father. He truly has affected my life for good and ill. I know I wouldn’t have picked the man I married if it wasn’t for his example. I know be the type of parent I am if it wasn’t for him.
But eventually I have to forgive him—the hardest thing I will ever do and I don’t know how my sister did it as we could NEVER talk about this. But she did.
As many of you know, I’m a week behind because of my sister’s death and funeral. I’m not caught up yet, but I did give this talk as a FHE lesson this past Monday. Our family has a habit of remembering past wrongs and I wanted to express to my children the healing power of forgiveness. I wanted them to tell them about what my brother-in-law said at my sister’s funeral, but I couldn’t because I haven’t forgiven my father.
My father was not the best father in fact I would put him on the other side of medium, but not horrible. Because my sister was much older than I was (she was 13 when I was born), she had a different father than I did. But she found it in her to forgive him. I haven’t. I don’t know what it will take, but I still haven’t forgiven my father. Maybe it is because I still have to interact with him (he lives closer to me) or maybe his treatment towards me was someone “harder”. I don’t know and I probably doesn’t matter.
This is truly something that will hold me from the Celestial Kingdom and I think of it often. For the most part I have forgiven him, but when I have to be with him, all those feelings and behaviors that I didn’t like and that hurt me so much, come boiling to the surface again.
I also have a hard time forgiving him for the emotional abuse he caused my mother. It was extensive and I assume grew harder to bare as eventually my mother divorced him.
Melinda, I ask the same question you do here, “why do I not forgive?” I do not know and I need to explore it more, but I guess the feelings are still very raw and hurtful.
I guess I need to follow Pres. Faust’s guidelines:
- Recognize and acknowledge angry feelings (well, I think I’ve done that—and more than once.)
- Pray and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness (see below)
- Forgive
My father never did anything physical to me as his treatment towards me was all emotional. He was a very distant father until there was a crowd to play to. I’m not sure where forgetting plays in forgiveness, and if it does play a part in it then I don’t know I if I will ever forgive because it is hard to forget the words and actions of my father. He truly has affected my life for good and ill. I know I wouldn’t have picked the man I married if it wasn’t for his example. I know be the type of parent I am if it wasn’t for him.
But eventually I have to forgive him—the hardest thing I will ever do and I don’t know how my sister did it as we could NEVER talk about this. But she did.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
I Am Clean
My thoughts on President Hinckley's "I Am Clean"
I love stats (don’t always understand them) but I do love them.
WOW!
We truly are experiencing world wide growth and I can now see what the bar was raised—we have to have those with clean hearts and hands to spread this gospel.
I have always loved the stories of our Prophets who did the extraordinary during their childhood, and especially Joseph F. Smith. I remember reading his story while in seminary and falling in love with that prophet. I then took a prophet class at BYU and have continued to study their lives. He truly is one of my favorite.
I have loved this story a lot but have one problem with it (I’ll tell that later). I too hope that I can always say “yes, but I’m clean,” when asked.
This is something we need to desperately impress upon our children and I feel the urgency even more so as I have teens and they are leaving my home way too soon.
One of Pres. Hinckley’s be’s is “Be clean” It not only means clean outside by way of appearance and dress but inside. I love how in this talk he points out
- “a filthy mind expresses itself in filthy and profane language. A clean mind expresses itself in language that is positive and uplifting and in deeds that bring happiness to the heart.”
- “be claen in body and dress and manner. Do not permit yourself to be tattooed. If you do someday you will regret it. Only a painful and costly procedure can remove the tattoo.”
- “be clean and neat and orderly. Sloppy dress leads to sloppy manners.” OH, don’t get me started on the sloppy dress of teens—it truly is a gang wannabe trend/fad/behavior. The baggy clothing comes from the fact that they give one size fits all and nothing to hold them up. That is why they hang down way low. But I need to stop that tirade now. I love how he adds about cleanliness in participating in the blessing of the sacrament!
- the internet! My kids tell me I’m such a meanie, but then they come and thank me when the realize how much of a time waster it can be and how it can suck you down the wrong path.
Then he ends with “get an education!” oh, how I love when he says that. When you pursue righteous endeavors the Lord will bless you and help you from be clean.
Friday, August 3, 2007
The Priesthood--a Sacred Gift
My thoughts on President Monson's talk "The Prieshood--a Sacred Gift"
We are constantly called to repentance and I think Pres. Smith’s words (his quotes them) is just that: a call to repent and be worthy to hold and receive the blessings of the priesthood. “[The priesthood’ is sacred, and it must be held sacred by the people.”
I know he was speaking to the brethren, but now he speaks to us and we must remember that. I’m guilty of second guessing the priesthood holders in our ward and stake and I must repent. I haven’t had the most kind thoughts toward our YM pres, but I must repent. Guess I know what I will be praying about on Sunday.
“Responsibilities” oh, how I hate and love that word! When you know as much as we do, you have a responsibility to act accordingly.
Courage—oh how I love that word. It takes courage to step up to the plate and act according to the truths you have been taught and those you yourself teach. “Courage comes constantly to each of us” but how? Through our obedience. When you obey you have no need to fear. At least that is how I see it. Look at Daniels friends (don’t make me spell their names) who were thrown into the fiery furnace. They had courage (and faith). Daniel himself. Nephi, Lehi, Ammon, and the list goes on and on. I believe faith and courage go hand in hand. But I believe faith needs to come first and leads you to courage. But that is the gospel according to Doreen.
WOW to president Kimball’s quote! “The limit comes in you!” is that not a call to repent! I know it was directed toward the brethren, but if we expect it to work in and for us we need to repent as well. I don’t want the limit to be placed because of me!
I can’t believe he told a WWII story. We are studying it right now!
What a great story of being prepare, obeying council and living worthy to bless the lives of others.
And again with Brother Salas.
I love his last scripture quote. It has been one of my favorites since seminary. “learn and act” is how my mom always shortened it.
We are constantly called to repentance and I think Pres. Smith’s words (his quotes them) is just that: a call to repent and be worthy to hold and receive the blessings of the priesthood. “[The priesthood’ is sacred, and it must be held sacred by the people.”
I know he was speaking to the brethren, but now he speaks to us and we must remember that. I’m guilty of second guessing the priesthood holders in our ward and stake and I must repent. I haven’t had the most kind thoughts toward our YM pres, but I must repent. Guess I know what I will be praying about on Sunday.
“Responsibilities” oh, how I hate and love that word! When you know as much as we do, you have a responsibility to act accordingly.
Courage—oh how I love that word. It takes courage to step up to the plate and act according to the truths you have been taught and those you yourself teach. “Courage comes constantly to each of us” but how? Through our obedience. When you obey you have no need to fear. At least that is how I see it. Look at Daniels friends (don’t make me spell their names) who were thrown into the fiery furnace. They had courage (and faith). Daniel himself. Nephi, Lehi, Ammon, and the list goes on and on. I believe faith and courage go hand in hand. But I believe faith needs to come first and leads you to courage. But that is the gospel according to Doreen.
WOW to president Kimball’s quote! “The limit comes in you!” is that not a call to repent! I know it was directed toward the brethren, but if we expect it to work in and for us we need to repent as well. I don’t want the limit to be placed because of me!
I can’t believe he told a WWII story. We are studying it right now!
What a great story of being prepare, obeying council and living worthy to bless the lives of others.
And again with Brother Salas.
I love his last scripture quote. It has been one of my favorites since seminary. “learn and act” is how my mom always shortened it.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Message to My Grandsons
My thoughts on President Faust's talk "Message to My Grandsons"
WARNING—my heart is very heavy as I’m not spiritually “there” today and haven’t for a few days (actually since my kids came back from camp). It has been hard to say my prayers and read my scriptures lately. OH, how I wish the temple was open because I need to feel His arms around me.
I think my boys are going to find this talk on their pillows tonight.
I really don’t know that to say about this talk. Do we go over it line by line? It truly is packed and could be gone over line by line. But I won’t.
What a wise young men’s president. I wonder if he will move into my ward. I’m not having a good experience with our young men’s president. AWFUL in fact. I know the Lord won’t change him in the next six months and I will have to watch my oldest move from teacher to priest. I guess I need to repent and not speak or think ill of him. I will have to start praying for him.
I like the word “agent”. My sport nut boys will understand this concept.
Can’t you just hear the love in his voice as he speaks to his “grandsons” and says, “I hope each one of you becomes a man of God. You will become a man of god through righteous works. You will honor and magnify your priesthood and, as the Apostle Paul said, “follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.” (Right now I wish my teens would heed this! I’m so very frustrated with them.)
“…following the rules is still the best pathway to obtaining all the things the Lord has promised.” (why can’t my boys—and girl—follow the rules!!!! What am I doing wrong that makes this happen?)
OK, this next paragraph is going to be put in a HUGE poster on my wall! We all have agency and NO ONE makes us do anything—we choose. I’m choosing to be in a crappy mode—my kids don’t put me there, I put myself there!
“All you young men who hold the priesthood have the duty to respect womanhood.” This needs to be shouted from the top of the mountains every morning! ALL WOMEN. We are struggling to do that at our home. My kids are so rude to me. We just had a talk about this behavior this morning and not 30 minutes later my 15 year old is back talking. (I wish I could pick him up and put him in his room—but he looks me in the eyes now.)
The next paragraph needs to be posted on every teenager’s mirror! I know I just copied it and put it in a pub doc and it will be in big letter, printed and then posted in the two bathrooms the kids use!!!!!! Why is it so hard for kids to understand this? I know I did the same thing as a kid—my mom was out to ruin my life. Oh, how I wish I could relive that part again, just so I could go back and treat my mom with more respect and with love. Trying to make up for it now is very difficult (she has Alzheimer’s now.)
Have you notice how much the prophets are emphasizing getting educated. Maybe it is because I’m reading the conference talks more diligently with the creation of this group, but it seems like in the last 5-8 years that every conference there is at least two or three talks that mention education. At first I thought they were talking about those in poorer countries, but I was mistaken; they are talking to ALL of us. I also sense a hint of urgency in their command. Is this just me? We have the PEF (perpetual education fund), the “Be Smart” and in the Standard for Youth it mentions it and I don’t a conference goes by that Pres Hinckley doesn’t urge us all to get education—especially the young men and women. I know I put this in my quiver and pull it out often when my kids grumble about school work.
I too have marveled over the complexity of things. Everything now seems to be “more” and yet the youth of today don’t have it. I was reading a friends blog. Her hubby just spent three months in china (he took the family—she homeschool—how cool is that!) Anyway, I couldn’t sleep last night so I caught up on all my blog reading. He mentioned why he was in China. He was there to hire Chinese and other Asians to work for Microsoft in their china location. WHY? Because there are not enough computer science candidates in the US and the US will only allow so many special visas (sorry I can’t remember the type) for those skilled workers to come work in the US so they have to open locations in foreign countries and hire them there and have them work there and send US people over there to manage them. I have a dear friend whose hubby just went to China for 2 YEARS for the same thing. He is hiring and getting a new project set up in China. They are going for a minimum of 2 years and it may be more—up to 5! Same reason! Our children HAVE to become educated—there is no end run around this problem.
Ok, off my soap box.
No shortcuts to success.
Now they tell me ~smile~
Life is hard and it seems to get harder every day. How do we even get up each day to face the mess? I know I get up because if I don’t my house will not be standing when Steve gets home.
What a great promise for the youth specially the fathers of tomorrow. Just hope they live righteous enough to claim it.
WARNING—my heart is very heavy as I’m not spiritually “there” today and haven’t for a few days (actually since my kids came back from camp). It has been hard to say my prayers and read my scriptures lately. OH, how I wish the temple was open because I need to feel His arms around me.
I think my boys are going to find this talk on their pillows tonight.
I really don’t know that to say about this talk. Do we go over it line by line? It truly is packed and could be gone over line by line. But I won’t.
What a wise young men’s president. I wonder if he will move into my ward. I’m not having a good experience with our young men’s president. AWFUL in fact. I know the Lord won’t change him in the next six months and I will have to watch my oldest move from teacher to priest. I guess I need to repent and not speak or think ill of him. I will have to start praying for him.
I like the word “agent”. My sport nut boys will understand this concept.
Can’t you just hear the love in his voice as he speaks to his “grandsons” and says, “I hope each one of you becomes a man of God. You will become a man of god through righteous works. You will honor and magnify your priesthood and, as the Apostle Paul said, “follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.” (Right now I wish my teens would heed this! I’m so very frustrated with them.)
“…following the rules is still the best pathway to obtaining all the things the Lord has promised.” (why can’t my boys—and girl—follow the rules!!!! What am I doing wrong that makes this happen?)
OK, this next paragraph is going to be put in a HUGE poster on my wall! We all have agency and NO ONE makes us do anything—we choose. I’m choosing to be in a crappy mode—my kids don’t put me there, I put myself there!
“All you young men who hold the priesthood have the duty to respect womanhood.” This needs to be shouted from the top of the mountains every morning! ALL WOMEN. We are struggling to do that at our home. My kids are so rude to me. We just had a talk about this behavior this morning and not 30 minutes later my 15 year old is back talking. (I wish I could pick him up and put him in his room—but he looks me in the eyes now.)
The next paragraph needs to be posted on every teenager’s mirror! I know I just copied it and put it in a pub doc and it will be in big letter, printed and then posted in the two bathrooms the kids use!!!!!! Why is it so hard for kids to understand this? I know I did the same thing as a kid—my mom was out to ruin my life. Oh, how I wish I could relive that part again, just so I could go back and treat my mom with more respect and with love. Trying to make up for it now is very difficult (she has Alzheimer’s now.)
Have you notice how much the prophets are emphasizing getting educated. Maybe it is because I’m reading the conference talks more diligently with the creation of this group, but it seems like in the last 5-8 years that every conference there is at least two or three talks that mention education. At first I thought they were talking about those in poorer countries, but I was mistaken; they are talking to ALL of us. I also sense a hint of urgency in their command. Is this just me? We have the PEF (perpetual education fund), the “Be Smart” and in the Standard for Youth it mentions it and I don’t a conference goes by that Pres Hinckley doesn’t urge us all to get education—especially the young men and women. I know I put this in my quiver and pull it out often when my kids grumble about school work.
I too have marveled over the complexity of things. Everything now seems to be “more” and yet the youth of today don’t have it. I was reading a friends blog. Her hubby just spent three months in china (he took the family—she homeschool—how cool is that!) Anyway, I couldn’t sleep last night so I caught up on all my blog reading. He mentioned why he was in China. He was there to hire Chinese and other Asians to work for Microsoft in their china location. WHY? Because there are not enough computer science candidates in the US and the US will only allow so many special visas (sorry I can’t remember the type) for those skilled workers to come work in the US so they have to open locations in foreign countries and hire them there and have them work there and send US people over there to manage them. I have a dear friend whose hubby just went to China for 2 YEARS for the same thing. He is hiring and getting a new project set up in China. They are going for a minimum of 2 years and it may be more—up to 5! Same reason! Our children HAVE to become educated—there is no end run around this problem.
Ok, off my soap box.
No shortcuts to success.
Now they tell me ~smile~
Life is hard and it seems to get harder every day. How do we even get up each day to face the mess? I know I get up because if I don’t my house will not be standing when Steve gets home.
What a great promise for the youth specially the fathers of tomorrow. Just hope they live righteous enough to claim it.
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