Raising the Bar

Elder Perry’s talk “Raising the Bar” is so timely for my family. My eldest just turned 16 and we are in those all important years of major mission prep.

I went through and marked the talk with bullet points. Here is what he said we needed to do:

1. Physical health and strength. “Missionary work is hard, and full-time missionaries must be in good physical condition to serve.” This is one reason my family swims 4 days a week and plays soccer six months out of the year. We also snow ski (and board). We love the outdoors and have learned to put in some hard days working. I want my kids to be the pace setter, not the drag-a-long. I see so many young men (even in the church) who are overweight, and who can’t put in a hard day of work. That is so sad.
2. Physical appearance. One thing I’m grateful that homeschooling allows me is that my kids aren’t into fads. Their hair doesn’t hang in their face (I demand to see their eyes, ears and neck). I also make sure there is good hygiene. They know how to take care of their skin and hair. They know how to press a white shirt (they have to do it often because they never hang them up—we are working on that). I was on jury duty and the first trial I was a potential juror for had the defendant (whom we found out was homeless) dressed in a white shirt and khaki pants. But the shirt and pants still had the lines from the packaging. My first thought was that the attorney should have known how to work an iron and he should have ironed the poor man’s clothing. That attorney also had a tattoo on his hand. I’m not prejudice and I wouldn’t have held either fact against him or his client, but it did make me think twice. For those who have tattoo, I mean no disrespect. I had a home teacher when younger who joined the church later in life and had tattoos, BUT for those who know better, well, I will leave that thought.
3. Intellectual preparation. DUH! How often has the prophets told us not to neglect our minds. We need to be able to converse intelligently with those we come in contact with. It builds bridges and lets people know you have thought these “strange” things through and that your words might have weight behind them. It also helps for when you have a family and have to provide for them.
4. Seminary! I know how hard it is to arise at 5 to make an early morning meeting when you are homeschooled, but it is very important for the young to have this experience. I don’t know how to accurately express my thoughts on this and maybe it is because I love the gospel too much! I even had an awful New Testament class at BYU and I learned so much from it. I learned that even those who are learned don’t know it all. I learned that I had to have my own testimony about the truthfulness of the gospel. I learned that my spiritual development was up to me! I took that class again from a different professor and learned that the gospels weren’t about fire and brimstone, but about love. It was truly a growing experience.
5. Emotional stability. I think this one is going to be hardest for my children. My kids all walk to the beat of a different drummer and I have two in particular that I worry about. I’m trying to help them deal with stress, disappointment and emotions that are crazy because of hormones as well as the Spirit. This is truly one that my family needs to work on.
6. Social skills!!!! My “sheltered, homeschooled, boys” are very, very sheltered and don’t know how to talk to adults! NOT!!!!!!! Far from it. My kids actually enjoy the company of others and will give you a long list of people who are their friends. They are not afraid to talk to an adult, shake their hand and talk directly to their face. My son just had to ask 13 fathers to borrow their wii’s for a mutual activity. He called on the phone, left messages, talked to them face to face and was able to secure 13 of them in about two days! This is where scouts, sports, young men’s and other activities are a must for our young men, especially those who are homeschooled. This is also why I started a teen group in our area.
7. MONEY! You will never have enough money for your wants and most of the time you will have just enough for your needs. It is so important to get your children to help pay for some if not their entire mission. I would rather pay for their schooling than their mission. They then have a vested interested in their mission. It will mean something to them. My sons put 30% of their increase into a mission fund.
8. Personal worthiness. This is one so very important. It doesn’t matter if you have all the other 8 points together; if you can’t cut the mustard in the worthy category then you better not pack your bags until you can. I love how the Lord will let us repent and our youth need to know that!
We plan on using “Preach My Gospel” as our family scripture study as soon as we are done with the Book of Mormon. Have any of you used it?