To Heal teh Shattering Consequences of Abuse

My thoughts on Elder Scott's talk "To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse"

I don’t even know how to begin dissecting this talk. I’ve never been abused, nor do I abuse (at least I think so), nor do I honestly know someone who has suffered from abuse. But I think this talk was timely. There are many open wounds out there that need to be healed by the love of the Savior. Many people out there who need to hear this talk, read this talk and take actions to repent, to heal and to forgive.

I love his opening paragraph—the one that really starts his talk, “Some matters are so sensitive and intensely personal and can awaken such disturbing feelings that they are seldom mentioned publicly. Yet, if tenderly and compassionately treated in the light of truth…” I hear the love and concern he had in his voice even when I read his words. It reminds me of the time the Savior told the disciples not to send the children away or when here in the Americas he blesses the children.
In his words to the abused he said this “Satan uses your abuse to undermine your self-confidence, destroy trust in authority, create fear, and generate feelings of despair. Abuse can damage your ability to form healthy human relationships. You must have faith that all of these negative consequences can be resolved; otherwise they will keep you from full recovery. While these outcomes have powerful influence in your life, they do not define the real you.”

I have thought about this paragraph since I first read it a while ago. The things Satan uses to get us NEVER define us. Even though I was never abused, he has used much to destroy my self-confidence and self-worth. He tells me I’m fat. Yes, I’m overweight, but that is a health problem not a look problem. He tells me I’m stupid for being a stay at home mom. He tells me I’m mixed up because my family is my first priority and I don’t have ME as number 1. He has great influence in my life and has told me what I really am—but I’m not listening and I don’t believe him and therefore his influence is weak, very weak. I just have to remember that the one who defines me, love me and died for me.

I do have an abuser in my life, but I’m not sure if ___ knew or knows how much ___ influenced my life. While I was growing up this person seldom gave me the time of day and yet ____ should have been the biggest part of my day. I married who I married because of this person and for that one thing I’m thankful. I do not need to seek a bishops counsel in this matter, I just need to forgive and move on. Not an easy task when the pain is very deep. An acquaintance of mine had the same problem as I did and she has learned to forgive. She tells me it is very freeing and I should do it. I’m working on it every day. No I will never confront this person because I don’t think this person even knows it, but I do and I do my best to not let ____’s actions, words and emotions make me a victim or influence me in anyway. Yes, I learned a lot from that person; mostly how not to treat people, but the education was painful—still is.