Feed My Sheep

My thoughts on Sister Allred's talk "Feed My Sheep"

I wasn’t able to attend Women’s Conference as soccer takes my whole day (we are almost done) so I’m just getting acquainted with these talks. I don’t know if that matters anyway. I remember a lot of the talks, but for the most part it was a stew—all mixed up and very meaty, but I forget the individual parts. I know I LOVED conference this year, but again, it was all mixed up. Now is the time for me to sort the different flavors and talks out in my mind as I study. This talk stung me.

Sister Allred asks a very important question, “So how do we go about feeding His sheep?” My first reading through this I made the sheep my kids. They are my first responsibility and that is what I’m working on daily feeding. We are holding family prayer and scriptures study, FHE and making sure they go to YM/scouts (YW will happen in 5 years), do their HT etc. Visiting Teaching never entered my mind. And I’m very embarrassed and sorry to say that I groaned when she said, “visiting teaching.”

Why? Because I want nothing more than to be left alone and not do mine. As it is my time with my children to teach them is very limited. It seems that once I thrown in VT in the mix I lose two whole days of teaching because I let my very faithful VT’s come and I have to accommodate the sisters I teach.

Now let’s pour salt into my wounded and pierced heart; I’m our wards VT coordinator! OUCH! I’m an ex-RS president. Double OUCH! I should know better.

I work full-time as a teacher to six children, but the ward and others don’t see that. Yes, we can hold class at 8pm and right now we are holding a science class then (I can’t wrap my mind around it so my wonderful husband is teaching it), BUT I WORK FULL-TIME!

How do you fit it in?
How do I change my attitude about it? I go at it like it is an annoyance and I don’t like going. I also grudgingly let my sisters come. It truly is about the only time they talk to me—yes we are sort of friends, but not really. I call on them when I need something because they live closer than any other sisters in the ward, yes I would call them friends, but every second Monday at 9:30 I feel like I have to stop my school and let them come in.

She quotes Pres. Packer “…give to Relief Society service precedence over all social and other clubs and societies of similar kinds.” Am I not doing this by not wanting to do it or have them come?

I know the blessings so very well. I have a testimony of VT, I just see it as an intrusion right now that is so hard to fit into my schedule. I guess it also doesn’t help that I’m bounced around between partners and sisters. I’m the one that gets moved as we discuss changes as sisters move in and out. I’m the easy one because I’m the one having the conversation with the RS president. I really don’t like that.

I want to make one thing clear. I would drop everything the minute one of my sisters (even if I don’t VT them) needed me. I would even bring my army to help out. Not because I was the one who needed help then and there, but because it is the right thing to do. But the monthly too long visit is just too much.

I guess I need to hit my knees and repent. Thankfully I have a faithful companion who even though our schedules don’t match at all, she rearranged her to match mine this month.